. . .The Dice Hate Me

Print 'N Play Games. - Half the fun is in the crafting of the game but now-a-days the games are pretty cool too!

2009-12-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

Way back when...I couldn't really tell you how long ago, I discovered the idea of Print 'N Play board game. Even back then I knew about PnP RPG's and living rule books things along those line but the idea of a board or card game in this format didn't occur to me. Yet I found some, a precious few amongst the slew of online RPGs...mostly I found war games but a few games that actually interested me showed up.

Notice I say a few because it seemed to me that back then (we are talking about 5 or 6 years ago) sucked ass. Not all mind you but most at any rate. Seems like someone would spew out some half baked idea for a game throw together some shitty clip art they got on a free CDROM with their Gateway, spice it with a neato wing ding font and then try and sell if for 6 to 8 bucks. Yeah I too the bite a couple times then stopped when I found out the games, as I said sucked ass. I found a couple that were cool and the best ones were typically being offered as free.

So I decided to shy away from these as they just were not paying off at all. I focused instead on building my game collection with professionally made board games. I got a decent sized collection under my belt and the further focused on trading games...get rid of the riff raff that I don't play in favor of something I would enjoy. While I've still got quite a few games I don't play I've managed to move a lot of them along the road to happy homes where they live hopefully getting played.

Yet that's not what this post is about, as is evident by my ever so cleaver title to the post. (For those who expected my return to this blog to be something biting and creative I apologize I've been under a quite a bit of pressure lately and well my creative side feels tapped out.)

I guess it's been the past couple of year that I've began to really focus on PnP games though. They have certainly been brought to the light of day with enthusiasm than previously and that's largely to do with the fact that the games have really improved in quality. Both the playability and the look of the games themselves.

This past Christmas season I even joined the Print 'n Play Secret Santa list on BGG and it was a truly rewarding experience for me. You can really tell everyone involved put their best pair of scissors forward and tried their best to craft the best possible game for the SS target. I had so much fun both in crafting the games I sent my target and in getting my package and pouring over the goodies I got. It didn't end there either, no not at all. We've been reading all month long as each person gets their package and posts what games they received and posts pictures of them. Part of the charm in this was getting to see different methods of crafting the games first hand.

See that's part of the experience in PnP games...the crafting of the game. It's a good bit of fun to print 'em out and make 'em. Find unique ways to package them and make them feel as much of a real part of your game collection as anything else you may have from Rio Grande or Z-Man Games. There then becomes a new level of pride in these games as you break them out on game night and everyone's ohhhing and ahhhhning over a game they can't just go out and BUY a copy of...but could print for free.

Now I know what most of you who are reading this might be thinking. (...and that very probably is just you Tony!) You are thinking that you just don't have the skills and equipment to do PnP games even if they are good. "Well wrong buddy." (without hearing me imitate the voice of The Cat from the show Red Dwarf that quote just wouldn't make any sense as all unless I tell you it was a quote of a line delivered by The Cat from the show Red Dwarf. It actually comes from the episode "Legion" if you really wanted to know. So there.)

I personally own a Kodak ESP3 ink jet printer. It's a pretty cheap printer I got at Wal-Mart. The color cartridge is $15.99 and the B/W is $11.99 when I need to replace them or I could buy in bulk online and save but typically I'm a dork and don't. Now a long time I bought a page laminator at K-Mart (I'm a fan of the Marts...but my favorite is X-Mart...but that's t totally different blog entry.) Wait got side tracked. Anyway K-Mart has this laminator for about $35 that I bought some time back and now find it exceedingly useful for my PnP projects but it's NOT necessary. Hell one of the games I received was blued to the back of cereal boxes! Simple spray adhesive that can be purchased just about anywhere I'm finding will adhere boards to nearly all types of material.

Bottom line is you would be surprised how much you can get done with very little "extras" and craft yourself a pretty cool game. One of my games was a tile laying game and the tiles were stuck onto the back of those self adhesive floor tiles! This made them thick, chunky and super sturdy. I was really impressed with this idea. Others will buy crappy games at thrift stores and cannibalize the bits and even the boards to make their own games...I must admit I've been cannibalizing thrift store games for years now. The best are the really old copies of risk with the wooden cubes in 6 colors and even those funny oblong triangular pieces that represent the 10 units pieces.

Alright so I've said the bulk of what I wanted to say and firmly made my stance about how anyone can easily come into the fold of PnPer's. Now it's up to you dear reader. Get off your lazy ass and find a game. There's hundreds of them these days. Just search "Print and Play" on Board Game Geek (best done under geeklists and forums) and you'll be flooded with responses.

Have fun.

neil

Why I Like - Agricola Through the Seasons

2009-05-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

"All good things are wild, and free." Henry David Thoreau

• As with my recent quick and dirty little review of Agricola X-Deck I'm going to start off by saying first and foremost that Through the Seasons is FREE and as you can see that's the criteria for being a "Good thing." Thank you Mr. Thoreau.

• As with my recent quick and dirty little review of Agricola X-Deck I'm going to also state that it's an expansion for Agricola! So what's not to like there right?

• As with my recent quick and dirty little review of Agricola X-Deck I'm going to also state that I've got over 100 games of face to face Agricola challenges in and it's nice to shake things up a bit.

• As with my recent quick and dirty little review of Agricola X-Deck I'm going to ask again...did I mention it's an Agricola expansion...and it's free?!?!

I admit that tactic I used there was a cheap shot (Or maybe it was a quick and dirty) as getting my review going but hey I also have to admit that I'm willing to take them sometimes! Hell if I were to be totally honest with you I'd be telling you right here and now that those bullet points were my intention from the get go I just didn't get around to writing this review as quickly as I suspected I would...but that's usually the case with me anyway.

Here we are half way done with the review and I've not really started talking about Through the Seasons yet. Maybe I should get to that. So the genesis of this thing was a post card job that got sent out to whoever or however, I don't really know or care as I wasn't one who got one of the post cards! No it's one of those frustrating deals where if you aren't "in" the right circle somewhere or signed up to the right there here you just aren't suppose to be graced with the presence of an addition to your favorite game. (Well one of my top favorites anyway.) Fortunately for the rest of poor schleps out there you can find high resolution images and files of said rarer and wondrous post card game board in the entry for the expansion. Woooooooooo Hoooooooooo. As I consider myself a print-n-play junkie anyway throwing this one down was a no brainer. I simply printed the sucker out on regular paper and ran it through the ole laminator and bam I'm now. I could have used card stock but didn't figure it was totally necessary as this was a board not a card set. I've had absolutely zero problems with this creation method so far.

Now you know what TtS is but what does it do? Well as I said it shakes the game up just a tad by adding variable board effects to the game each and every round as well as giving you 4 new action spaces to land on. Well not a total of 4 but a total of 4. Was that confusing? See there's 4 spaces but only 1 (the active season) is available every round. Probably the coolest part of the expansion is you are suppose to start in the season that it currently is for you. This means every 3 months you start off in a seasons. Now you might think that's not that big of a deal (and it's not) but it is cool.

The first thing TtS does is impact the resources. Each turn 2 of the 4 main resources (Wood, Clay, Reed and Stone) are either added to or subtracted from. This impacts only the resource locations that build from round to round. In other words let's take Spring for example. Spring is set to -1 Wood and +1 Stone. This would mean when loading the board any action spaced that would get wood (like the 3 wood space) would get 1 fewer wood pieces while the stone action spaces would receive one extra stone. It's fully balanced to all 4 resources gain one and lose one over the course of 4 rounds.

In addition to resource adjustment each season brings some universal impacts to the entire board/game as well. Winter is cold and the ground is hard so to plow a field costs 1 food during this time and you can no use the fishing location at all until after round 11 in winter. Spring is the time to get things done, so if you build fences during this time you get 2 free. Summer comes and things are goind well if you build rooms you get a free stable for each you build. Furthermore spring sees an extra food token on the fishing hole and a grain token added to day laborer. Fall makes all major improvements construction cost one resource less.

Finally this tiny little postcard expansion gives us 4 new action spaces with one available each turn. Winter acts almost like the lover. You can exchange 2 wood and 3 food to family grow without room. Spring gives an instant animal breeding phase and/or sow. Summer is time to take a holiday. When you place your family member here you recieve a bonus point for that member and all members played before it. Summer allows an instant field phase and/or take 1 veggie.

I simply love this little expansion and won't play Agricola anymore without it. It adds some serious goodness to the game and unlike X-Deck is well within the theme of the game. It's easy to understand and if you have people who are new to it, just remind them at the beginning of the turn what the effects of the current season are. I would highly suggest any owners of Agricola go print this out and throw it in you box. You will be happy you did.

Why I Like - Agricola X-Deck

2009-05-28T10:56:00.001-07:00

• First off it's an Agricola expansion

• Next it's a FREE Acgricola expansion

• After over 100 games of Agricola face to face this really shakes things up.

• Did I mention it's an Agricola expansion...and it's free?

OK so seriously, there are lots of reasons I love this little deck of cards. I'd say that since printing it up it gets played 85-90% of the time Agricola comes out. It's a simple little addition that when played according to the rules adds flavor to the game without mixing things up too drastically.

What is the X Deck you ask? It simply put is the aliens having arrived and taken over the first stone quarry that comes out in Stage 2. Every time you take stone from this spot you pull an X Deck card and good, bad or ugly you have to do what the card demands. Alright I know in my disclaimer I said I'd not include how the game is played but it's my review so I figured I would with this one. Leave me alone.

The brilliance behind the X Deck is the fact that every card in the deck relates to something from Sci-Fi lore that we are all familiar with. Take the invasion of the Space Woozles which in the picture appear to be small fuzzy balls with eyes. As they are constantly breeding each harvest and needing to be fed you can feel the frustration Kirk had in the original Star Trek Episode "The Trouble With Tribbles." Several Star Wars reference appear including being Frozen in Carbonite and having a family member go off to fight for the Rebels, who is pictured with a couple of very familiar looking droids I might add. Need a free family growth? Try pulling the "Earth Girls Are Easy" card. Or maybe you want some bonus points? Try following around a little extra terrestrial creature who is dropping candy bits all over the board. The aliens are not all fun and games though and all at the table should beware of the terror of the Tripods, they just down right suck! Crop circles, and controlling the transporter for all the other players, from transmogrifiers to replicators, the power of alien poop to building your own home made space rocket the X Deck has all this and more.

I suppose for purist this kind of randomness is unacceptable in gaming. Alright so if that's your model of game play cool I can dig that. Though if you are like me and are willing to play a game, have some fun and take some chances which may help you win the game or may lose the game outwardly or even have little impact on the game simply because it's "all in the cards" then you need to do yourself a favor and get the X Deck.

Now you are asking yourself "Did he say free?" Yes I did. In the files section here on the geek there is a file called the X Deck player aid. Rschumucker made it and included small (typical euro sized) card scans of every card in the deck! BRILLIANT! Another reason I love the X deck. Honestly I'm not a fan of small cards in general. However let's face it when spread out with 4 or 5 players Agricola is a big game and takes up a bit of room. Last thing you need is another deck of full sized cards sitting there taking up room! So in comes the player aid cards. I even asked Rschumucker to do backs for the cards and he gladly did! So what I did was print the cards out on card stock, then print the backs, laminated them and cut them out. This made for a very sturdy deck of cards that sits nicely next to the board and as mentioned does not take up too much room either. The perfect combination for a silly little expansion that adds a ton of flavor to the game.

Bottom line this takes 2 sheets of crd stock and a little time. I'd suggest if you have the slightest interest in the X Deck after having read this little review then head over the files section and get to it. I say it's worth your while.

Why I Like - Himalaya

2009-05-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

“I've been staying at their lodge in the Himalayas for years, ... They have this beautiful lodge. You look out and there's Ama Dablam. Oh man, it's like heaven.” --Pete Shelley of Buzzcocks

You know it's always funny to me that some games get released and whether great games or not they get a huge amount of recognition. People buy them up and a few months later or maybe a year or so the game is in over abundance of copies and they are selling for under 20 bucks or being traded away as sweetners. Then other games can be released with relative obscurity and not much fanfare so the game doesn't get republished and goes out of print. Once this happens the gaming community starts scrambling to gather up their copies because now it's out of print and so everyone has to have a copy of the 'rare' game. When I purchased my copy of Himalaya it was readily available and very affordable. I simply put in an order to my favorite (at that time) online retailer and got my copy and have never looked back. Now visiting the game's page it's $90-$100 US . . .Why? There are (again at the time of this writing) 209 people wanting a copy of this game and only 861 owners of which 11 are offering it for trade. Had the populace embraced this game with this sort of fervour upon release surely Tilsit would have been inclined to reprint it. SIGH OK I'm gonna get off my soapbox now because hey I got my copy!

So let's get to the "Why I like" it part of this review. First off it's one of the handful of games out there that I thoroughly enjoy teaching. I teach a LOT of games as most of us do I would assume and I really like to teach games but once in awhile it's just a sheer enjoyment to explain certain games and this game is one of them. I like talking about the beautiful people of the Himalayan mountains and how they so warmly welcome visitors to their villages and will gladly offer up their goods for free to those who ask (once per turn of course.) I further explain that these gentle spirited people are not to be taken advantage of though and therefore you are obliged to take only their lowest valued resource when they offer it. Letting people know that these recently acquired goods are desperately needed in villages elsewhere and that they can take their loaded yak to those villages and trade with them in exchange for favors is very satisfying...and so on. It's just a very enjoyable experience for me to explain this game and embrace it's theme so dramatically, I my approach also helps not only with an understanding of the game but also with immersing the new players in the theme which just adds to their enjoyment of the game.

I further like this game because it's a programming game. I really enjoy the programming mechanic in the few games that have it. This game however is a nice little euro game with programming and that (to me) seems highly unusual. Seems to me the typical programming game is one that has combat (Wings of War) or chaos (Robo Rally.) Being able to function in this manner in this type of pick up/deliver game is simply a lot of fun to me.

I had already ordered my copy of Himalaya but it had not yet arrived when one day I was in a flea market and for $0.25 I found a stand up figure of the abominable snowman from the Monsters Inc. movie. Knowing it was on it's way I snatched him up. At that time I had no idea the role the yeti played in the game but I figured worse case scenario I'd have him in the box and put him out simply as decoration and thematic purposes. Then when I saw that the "yeti" in the game was merely a small round chip with footprints on it that was suppose to deter travelers from taking said path...yeah right! Now my copy has a much more intimidating guy to put in the path! Sure if more than 1 person plays the yeti on the same turn only the first get's to use him but that actually is part of the fun too!

I love the elimination process of this game. It forces players to be aggressive about stupa placement and creates a lot of tension. Yes I talk the talk of a tranquil journey through the montains but it really does create a fantastic struggle for area control and yak collecting. All in a relatively quick game, something you don't find very often but is yet another thing I like about Himalaya.

Finally I like that this game transcends people. I've thrown this one down with hard core gamers and they enjoy themselves. I've brought it out with total nongamers and they've enjoyed themselves. Males and females alike seem to have an appreciation for the game as well as it appealing to both an young and older audience. I don't know what to attribute this to but there's something here that make this a very palatable to such a large cross section of people.

At this point I would normally be suggesting you go out there and get yourself a copy of this game but as mentioend earlier that's not so easily accomplished now-a-days. So maybe what you should do is to contact Tilsit and request they reprint this baby. It'd be well worth it for them if they did.

Why I Like - Fire & Axe, A Viking's Saga

2009-05-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

VIKINGS ARE THE NEW PIRATES!

Well at least it seemed that about a year ago there was a strong influx of games themed around the maraudering exploits of sea going Scandinavians who were out there pillaging and plundering cities. The Vikings had arrived in gaming full force and the games were appearing to be aplenty. I assumed that trend would continue and the popularity of the pirate theme would wane. Though as it turns out the tide of these games ebbed and the pirate theme remained strong and popular amongst the gamer community. So perhaps I should rethink my battle cry above.

VIKINGS ARE THE UNDERDOGS OF THE PIRATES!

...and that's how we like it anyway! Leave those other pansy, Johnny Depp wanna-be's to their silly stumbling about's and let's get to the business of violence! Though as it turns out a lot of these games tend to (as so many games do) not have a lot of the violent tendencies that we know and love (cause it's human to romanticize the curelty once some centuries have passed) of these violent peoples. (Not to mention I'm a huge pirate game fan myself...so count me in those numbers I just ridiculed as well.)

Which brings me squarely to my favorite Viking game Fire and Axe!

So I know this a remake of an older game that I never got to play (though it was one that I had in my wants list for a long long time) and I'm good with that. I'm a real fan of Asmodee and was happy to see they of all game companies, had picked it up. Although I was highly curious about the game I have to admit I did have some reservations too. So I was hoping to play it before buying it but just seemed like no one I knew was willing to take the chance on it either. I finally found a gently used and in immaculate condition used copy at a gaming convention and the owner said he'd be more than willing to throw it down and teach me the game right then and there...SOLD! I should say it's never been even a small inkling of regret having purchased this game.

I like this game for several reason but the first and foremost is I see this as a game that marries the American and Euro games so very nicely. I've wanted a hybrid game for a long time and this game does just that. It's got the rip roaring theme and beautiful plastic ships and crewman of a American game. Then you start to teach the game. What's this? We are vying for victory points and attempting to complete the current saga cards that are on the table and there is no such thing as ship to ship combat? How Euro like is that? Wait a second our success however is based on dice rolling and saga's can come out that are already completed so they get discarded...man that feels very American. Yet someone can look like they are a strong contender for victory until the end game scoring comes along and snatches it away (Settlements do feel like farm scoring to me in Carcassonne) very Euro indeed. BUT there is no score track it's just the piles of treasure you amassed that wins you the game AMERICAN! Damn I love this game. It is if you ask me the perfect blend I've been looking for. I think perhaps that is why some people are so strongly against it though. They wanted either a stronger American game or a more precise Eruo focus and it didn't work for those types of gamers.

I love the detail put into the look of this game. The ships are beautiful resting on the waves of the oceans. The axe held in the crewman's hands is not raised but held at their waist readied for whatever may come. The board looks like a torn and tattered map unfolded onto the table. The rune cards depictions are all fantastic.

I like the core mechanics of the game. Simple to explain to new players and very quickly picked up. I love the ability to let someone work on a saga card for a turn or two and then sneak in behind them and finish it for them taking full credit with the nation for yourself. Granted they still get the points for the work they did but they card goes to you and that can be big...or not just depends on the particulars of the game at that time.

I actually like the run time on this one. Even with new players it doesn't drag as after a turn or two most players are able to know exactly what they want to accomplish on their turn and will take their actions quickly.

I love the rune cards. I'm a big action card fan in games and these cards are superbly developed for this game. Shakes things up and is well rounded...don't be fooled you must take rune cards even though it costs you actions. At the same time with the hand maximum of 3 no one can be so overly powerful to unbalance things.

Fire and Axe is simply put a great game. It's an honor to have it in my collection.

Been a long time

2009-05-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

I never said I'd be consistent and consistency I've not had! I did promise that this would get old and I'd let it slide, a promise I certainly kept with more vigor than any Obama promise will ever be kept with...if at all but that's politics and we aren't talking politics because we are not liars, frauds and charlatans like all politicians are.

So anyway I've written some more "Why I Like" reviews and will put them up. I'm considering writing a "History of THoiA's Gaming Life" like anyone out there gives a donkey's pile of excrement about that but I'm thinking about it anyway.

That's the ideas anyway.

Why I like - TICKET TO RIDE

2008-09-04T05:41:00.001-07:00

“Yet America is a poem in our eyes; its ample geography dazzles the imagination, and it will not wait long for metres.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson,

“America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.” ~Bobcat Goldthwaite

Alright yes first and foremost I’m going to bullet point Ticket to Ride (the Original USA map) game in a light that will probably annoy some, confuse most and possibly piss off a few. I like Ticket to Ride because:

** Well the first edition of this amazing series was based in America!

** Once the 1910 USA expansion came out it solidified my love of this map and this instance of this game. Again making the best of the series (in my opinion) America!

** When you think of trains in the era of the original game you tend to think about those tracks crossing America which is probably why it’s based in America!

So I’m proud to be an American and TtR brought forth Euro game mechanics, from a British game designer who’s games I tend to like and based the whole thing in my beloved country. Without going into a long dissertation on this country I’ll just give you the quick synopsis. This country does have some serious problems and our current political system will not fix them, ever. That’s all you’ll get out of me so stop asking. Anyone who knows me in the gaming world knows that’s more than I’m use to saying. Hell when I started the gaming club here in Gainesville, FL the first (and only) rule was “No talking religion or politics or you go home.” So there, I’ve said my peace now let’s move on to the game.

As mentioned a moment ago, the game is designed by Alan R. Moon (look in the picture...he's playing the original Ticket To Ride!) who’s game mechanics I enjoy because of the limiting nature of his designs. Typically speaking in a Moon game you have about a thousand things to get done in the time it takes to get 20 things done in. Hard decisions must be made. Still TtR pushes on with a brilliant method of never making you feel like you are totally screwed out of a connection as there’s always another way around…it may not be the most direct route but hey that’s gaming isn’t it?

I enjoy the simple nature of the game. There are only ever 3 actions. Draw cards, play cards/lay trains, draw new tickets. That’s it. One action per turn, even though you want at least 2 actions almost every turn, you get one action and that is it! This design allows this game to be quickly taught to anyone. Literally anyone and I don’t care if they are hobby gamers or not, they WILL understand this game.

Having owned this game since it’s inception in 2004 I can say that I’ve taught this game to many a game player. I’ve run it at conventions and toted it around with me on holidays. I’ve broke the bits down to baggies and shoved board/cards/baggies into suitcase and very much like the theme of the game itself traveled this game around the United States. The game is always well received and as a result I can count a verified 9 copies of the game that I am responsible for selling. Granted I believe the number to a lot higher than that but there are 9 copies that I can be positive were sold due to me. (You’re welcome Days of Wonder.) The game got a good bit of main stream coverage with an article on board games mentioning it in Reader’s Digest and it was sold on the shelves of Toys-R-Us. By and afar this game has etched itself into gaming history stronger than many other games out there. Throw in the expansions and the other versions of the system and you’ve got a gaming dynasty . . .and that’s why I like Ticket To Ride.

Why I like - YS

2008-09-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

First off you gotta like a game where before you even open the box you can have a debate about the game start up! “How do you pronounce that?” There’s several options:

Fir** Ee’s. Which is my preferred pronunciation and being as I usually play with my copy of the game the “Official” pronunciation when I’m playing.

** Why’s. Like you are saying the name of the letter in multiples. Then again this just make is sound like you live in a trailer park, drink beer for breakfast, live through the week to watch NASCAR have a truck up on cinder blocks in the yard and like both types of music. Country and Western.

** Iss. Sounds like Hiss or Kiss. No witty retort here on this but it’s still just wrong.

So now we have how that out of the way let’s move to the game itself. I first discovered this type of game in Aladdin’s Dragons and I loved that game quite a bit. The basic mechanic is picked up in Ys but some things are just handled better in Ys than they were in Aladdin’s.

What exactly am I talking about here? Boil it down it’s bidding. I like bidding games and this is a neat combination of open and blind bidding all in one package. The thing is, it’s bidding on so many things all at once while other players want the same things. On a very glossing view of it all consider that there are a total of 24 places on the board to bid for and you get to place a total of 8 bids each round. Not to mention that of 12 of them the three city sections will then have 3 sections in each of the 4 neighborhoods combine for an overall bid as well. WOW! Now that’s some keen thinking there.

Next throw in the “optional” (as the rules call it but I teach it as a firm part of the game) King’s Favor element and now you have to trade out one of your bidding brokers for a simple “2” value for the shot at some end game points.

Anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy action cards. I talk about them a lot and have even developed an action card deck for Crokinole. Despite my constant talk of action cards I do like them to be balanced. I have deck that overpowers a game but I don’t like a deck that doesn’t shake the game up a bit was added to give the game more perceived value by adding another component to the game. While I’m at it I’ll say that I loath a deck that was added to the game to “Fix” problems found in play testing and I’ve seen on several occasions that the action card deck is used for this. However the cards in Ys fit the bill (for me) to an exacting precision of enjoyment. There are very few cards in this deck to begin with and give that round 4 cards are all “white gems” you only have 12 cards ever to be possibly played! I’ve found a reason to use every card at least once in a positive manner. Some are very situational and well those just get passed over if the situation doesn’t arise but others become favorites of different players and are fought over with zeal. This is an excellent deck of action cards.

Hidden resources (gems) makes for a fun little twist on the game as you can never really be sure who is winning the game. Those end game points add up BIG TIME and if you come in 1^st or 2^nd in a couple of gems makes a huge difference. Sure you do see every gem every player takes and if you have a perfect memory can figure it all out but for the rest of us who consider ourselves normal humans we can’t keep track of that crap and find a thrill in waiting to see who has what for gems.

So I like Ys basically for all it’s mechanics put together. It’s a great game from start to finish and once everyone knows how to play the game it flows quickly and smoothly. If you haven’t played it yet check it out.

Why I Like - ACQUIRE

2008-09-04T05:38:00.001-07:00

I picked up my 1^st copy of this game (the 1995 version with the completely silly “power tiles” in it) many years back. A thrift store find I didn’t think much of at the time yet still had high hopes for. Once I started playing it I knew I had found a life long favorite game…but little did I know how completely I’d love this amazing classic of a game.

Once I started my gaming group back March of 2004 I started bringing my copy of Acquire out. Now at this point I was mainly introducing games to what we in the hobby gaming community like to call “non-gamers.” You know ‘em, and you’ve played with ‘em. Those people who love to game but their knowledge is limited to what can be bought at Toys-R-Us. This lead to every game I brought out to be given a comparison to a game they were familiar with. Mare Nostrum has battling units so it must be like Risk. Boomtown has cards so it must be like Rummy. Acquire was the KING of these comparison as:

** It has tiles in a bag so it must be JUST LIKE Scrabble

** It has hotels so it must be JUST LIKE Monopoly

It got to be a real joke and some of the originals of that early gaming club group will still throw those around when Acquire comes out…ahhhhh nostalgia. However that doesn’t help you the reader of this in the least now does it?

I’d say one of the main reasons I like Acquire is the same as one of the main reasons I like Carcassonne so much. Both on the surface look like such a nice little friendly game…yet lying just under the surface of that façade lies a devious game filled with nasty nasty dickery at ever tile pull.

Next up for me in my favorite factor with this game is the metagame. WOW the metagame in Acquire is huge. Making subtle (and not so subtle) little (and not so little) comments about wishing for a certain tile while you can plainly see it’s sitting right there on your tray. Offhandedly (and not so offhandedly) wishing aloud that you’d like to see a chain merge knowing you won’t get a portion of the credit and then next turn after everyone has sold off their stake in the chain restarting the chain and being majority share holder.

The luck factor. Now I know this will rub a lot of people who are into designer board games the wrong way but I love the luck factor of pulling random tiles from a bag. Hell I do believe that having 6 tiles on a tray to choose from does indeed help mitigate the luck there still comes a point in every game where you are literally waiting on one frigging tile. Will you get it in time? Who the fuck knows but it’s tense waiting on it and I love that dread you feel when others are pulling from the bag and you just feel like you know they are getting your tile, bastards!

I also love that this incredible game is a Sid Sackson product. No he’s not my favorite designer and sure a lot of the games he did put together are…well a bit lame but here’s a game that stands heads and shoulders above lots of other games and it’s what? An American designed game! Yes that does add a bit of enjoyment to this game for me and this is called why I like Acquire so there it is!

Finally I like the idea that this game has stood the test of time. Having been originally published in 1962 it’s amazing to me that there is still so much demand for the game. To see some of the prices people are paying for various editions of this game amazes me! How many online or downloadable computer formats are there for this game? I suppose I could look it up but hey I’m writing a review and lazy so I won’t bother but suffice it say there’s a LOT! Now we have a new affordable version of the game out that with a low price point like it has will likely garner new fans, and maybe even people who are not typical gamers may discover it now. Will be interesting to see if some of these games we all raving about right now will still be as revered 46 years down the road.

Acquire! A rich, simple, sharp game that lives on to this day. Bravo Mr. Sackson, I salute you!

"Why I Like..." Reviews series

2008-09-04T05:33:00.000-07:00

Quite sometime back I decided to write some pretty simple "reviews" of the games I like. These will all be games that I truly enjoy and the reviews will be simple, short and just highlight a few reasons I like said game.

As everything I do I started my good idea then my Gen X nature took over and it got shoved down and forgot about.

I did a game order the other day and low and behold I found the reviews I wrote and started stored in my e-mail. So for better or for worse I'm going to post them here. There are some completed and some that were started...I will post the completed ones and possibly finish/post the others. Who knows. If you are actually reading this stupid blog then you know I'm really not that consistent so don't hold your breath.

THoiA

Where The HELL Have You Been THoiA?

2008-05-19T05:20:00.001-07:00

Where the hell have I been? Well Hell seems to be about right. I know you probably aren't interested in the gory details but life's been changing and it's been hard. I've made little effort to keep up with gaming in this time of transition for myself but once again I'm beginning to make the turn around and that started with the purchase of a few games. Check out those recently acquired games (which oddly enough includes a complete copy of the old AH version of Acquire I got at a thrift store for $1.25...even has all 6 of the value cards!)

I gotta start slow and go at my own pace though. I played some games this past weekend and think I got some buddies coming over during the week to game too so who knows. Dip the toe in the water and I'll be back soon enough.

By slow I guess I'm talking about a 3 day convention in Jacksonville...Rapier 2008. www.rapiercon.com if you want to check that out.

I have joined a monthly gaming group who are mostly non-gamers playing party game type of stuff. It was fun met some new people and plan on going back again next month. They were very receptive to Ticket to Ride and I'm sure they'll get into other gateway games as I bring them.

I recently made a large game order and purchased a few things off of eBay not to mention some pretty cool trips to some thrift stores around town which have paid off handsomely. I'm also currently listed in a math trade on Board Game Geek so all this stuff I see as distinct positive moves to getting back into gaming like I want to be...next thing you know I'll be writing on this stupid blog for no one to read again.

Everyone Likes A Little Action

2008-02-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

Last time I said "All games deserve a theme." Now I'm going to throw out a mechanic that I think can be grossly over looked by some designers and yet wholly embraced by others. A part of a game that can shake things up, change player positions and keep everyone on their toes. An element that must be handled with care in design as it can prove to be totally pointless or over power a game if not implemented with care. That piece of gaming is. . .Action Cards. With precious few exceptions I'm here to claim today that All games should have action cards. I've jokingly said this to many people in our group. Now while jokingly said secretly it's always meant when you hear me say "This game needs action cards." Most of the time when I start pointing out how they could be used I'm agreed with.

Now before I get started on this one let me state I know a lot of you are going to claim me insane for some of my suggestions. I can already hear the cries of "That game works great like it is, perfect design doesn't need improving upon." Here's there thing though...had your favorite game been released with a deck of action cards chances are you'd love it just the same and argue that the game simply could not be played without that deck of cards. With that said when I get to the point where I'm talking about a game you dearly love and adore, remember that line, shut the fuck up and keep reading. Once you've read the whole post you can leave your thoughts in the "Unimportant Opinions" section if you really feel the need to 'call me out.' Otherwise go curl up in a dark corner of your closet, cradle yourself and you wipe the salty tears of rejection off your cheek, shaking and thinking over and over "the big scary man with a blog attacked my favorite little board game.

What was I talking about again?

Action cards! One of my favorite pieces in any game typically...when implemented correctly that is. You have no idea how excited I was when I first came across Nightmare Chess. Not only by one of my favorite game designers but it was an attempt to make chess a fun game to play!

I'm not so thick as to think that all games with action cards are designed well to include them. of course. Often times certain cards or even the entire deck itself seems to have been an afterthought or thrown into the game as a remedy to a fundamental problem with the game itself. As a guy who dreams of being a game designer myself and who has several games developed and play tested I can understand the heart ache of putting work into a game, play testing it only to have to giving a big sigh of disappointment and think "Damn, this was a good idea but it kind of doesn't work." At that point said game should be stripped down and be completely retooled like you'd do to a 2 dollar whore. Games like that can be saved but an action deck is not always the answer...yet then sometimes it is.

I bring to you my first suggestion and (as I like to do when I write these things I'll now point out that this is) the catalyst for this entry. Fagin's Gang. This game releases and I'm immediately intrigued by it simply because it's a board game based on a literary piece. NICE! So I read about it and well some comments are not as favorable as others but that happens and still I liked the idea of the game and the description of game play so here we go. The game absolutely works. The game is sort of fun. Ahhhhhhh now there's the problem innit? Only sort of fun. Where I felt the game fell down was what they call the "Market." Everyone goes to the market and then bails out when they can't or don't want to buy or sell. At times people would sell a commodity only to buy it right back the next round just to stay in the market for 2 extra turns. Combine this with several places that a good action card would just help out those "helpless" situations or make players be very careful about positioning due to the fear of an action card and this game would rock! What if a deck were included and when the market started cards equal to half the number of players rounded down are turned faced up. The first person to leave the market first takes a card and so on. Now there is even incentive to leave the market if you don't really have business there. (HINT This is fixing a little problem with theme.) As for the details of the cards...well I'm actually developing those and you'll have to check the Geek for variants to find them once I ever get them done. Flavor, tension and functionality all added to this game in a heavy dose via action cards.

Here's a new game that came out and took the gaming world by storm! I've played it a few times now and I love this game. It's greatness in cardboard form. A full on finance game with a bit of warfare and a smackling of screwage as far as the countries go. What's not to love? Not much actually but an action card deck is just that much more to love. I haven't quite figured out how to get cards into players hands. Perhaps if you have the option to invest (as in you hold the investor tile or do not hold any nation's flag due to not being majority stock holder in any of them) and choose to not invest you draw a card. This however might not put enough cards in play however and perchance too many in one single players hand. Another thought is if you control a nation and pass the investor spot on the rondel all players who have stock in the nation get to draw one card. That might work but we'd have to see. The cards here could represent all sorts of things from exceptional markets (discount for a nation who imports this turn or an extra unit can be imported) to espionage (remove a dollar figure from a nations available funds) to special defenses (cancel one battle.) There are so many ideas for cards in this game it's not funny. All would do the same as with Fagin's Gang, generate tension on what might get played or be a small helping boost when you need it most and as I pointed out would be very thematic as well. Cards here are a great idea.

Well I recently got to play a game that I have heard quite a few good things about. I was personally let down by it. Oh it looks great. Bits are nice chunky plastic pieces nicely molded. The game play however, while having more screw factor than expected, ended up being a bit...boring. There it is again! Dull game play. This game could easily benefit from...yes I'm saying it again Action Cards people! This time the game in question is Manhattan and yes I deliberately did not include a picture because I wanted to bury the title in the paragraph. Those who are familiar with this game can just imagine the beauty of it 12 to 15, maybe 18 cards shuffled right into the deck. For this game I'd implement goofiness in the cards. "All players pass their cards to the player on their left." "When a player plays a card for placement discard this card to immediately take that card then give them the top card from the deck as their new placement card." Yes of course I'd also have..."Godzilla attacks! Remove the top piece from every building in one city." Dammit people you know this is a good idea!

That right there are three perfectly reasonable examples of games that could have action cards and the game would only benefit from it. There are so many others though that I hereby choose to not go into detail with but I've thought about it. Some of those are; Puerto Rico, Ticket To Ride, Formula De', Hansa, China, California and honestly the list could go on and on. Tons of games...basically what I'm saying is the only games that instantly come to mind that do not need action cards are the ones what have them already built in.

I know what you are thinking. He's managed to name off and defend quite a few board games thus far is that all he's got? Hell no!

How about Liar's Dice? A pure die rolling, bluffing game right? A game that's been rethemed and licensed so many times it's stupid. From fancy board versions to the ghetto print out to just grab a cup and 5 six sided dice. (That's the Front Porch Classics version there to the left. Fancy schmancy I know. I picked it up for about 5 bucks at the annual Barnes & Noble's clearance sale...great box looks nice but still a dumb ass game.) Getting action cards into this would simple just give them out at the beginning of the game or maybe each time you lose a die you draw a card. Cards could be literally anything that felt like it would work in your group. From logical to sheer dickery. Steal a die from the leader. Change one die result after revealing dice. Making cards for this is so easy I could spew them out like the drunk bitch at a party spews half digested pizza after her 7th shot of tequila. This is the part where fans of this inane game spout off that action cards would ruin the perfect balance of the game as it is. WTF!?!? This is a pretty lame game people how the fuck could action cards screw it up any more? All I see action cards doing here is adding a nice new unexpected element to a relatively boring game perhaps creating the rift in time and space that would make me actually want to play this.

There is one other game but I'm hesitant to mention it here I think it would shock you more than any other game I have mentioned thus far. The truth is however that I am reluctant to mention said game as I have in the works already an action deck designed and am considering marketing it on it's own. So I'd tell you but intellectual property rights and all...and really you think I love you that much? After all that's been said in this blog? It's a cold world out there and I'm happy to bring a bit of the cruel coldness to you right here on. . .The Dice Hate Me. Until next time get out there get yourself a bit of action...and you dork I'm not talking about board gaming here. Seeya kiddies.

I Am a Theme Whore . . . Hey Buddy You Looking to Party?

2008-01-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

My inspiration for this blog comes from a review I recently wrote for Board Game News. The game was Mad Scientist University (a very so-so game, don't bother seeking it out too hard but as a sweetener in a trade it might be a neat addition to your game collection) which is just a story telling game. Most of these story telling games are wide open but this one had a very cute theme. Taking over the world...Mad Scientist style! That addition of theme was my favorite part of the game and made me realize that I am a theme whore. In fact to quote myself I said that I was indeed "A full-fledged, street-walking, corner-working theme whore." I should throw out there that I'm my own whore though I don't have a pimp. Where my money at? It's in my pocket!

OK Well let's get back on track...if this entry even has a fucking track to get back on. I guess what I'm saying is design a game and give it a well rounded theme and I'm there! Design a game with great mechanics and make it abstract...I'll play it a few times then get bored with it. All games deserve a theme. It's as simple as that. Case in point, Reiner's (Yes I'm on a first name basis with him) little game Samurai. This game is certainly an abstract game. When you set out to giving this game a go you don't feel like you are doing the things that are typically associated with the bloody images generated by the word "Samurai." Still thematically the game works. There was a time when Feudal Japan was no longer a warring nation and what are honored Samurai to do when there is no war? Well they setup school, they furthered their educations, they became figures of business and in general reinforced their status with the locals of the land. Hey that kind of feels like exactly what you are doing in this game. This game is by far not a favorite of mine, and I rarely suggest it however, if there are others who want to play the game I never hesitate or try to dissuade them to another game. Someone wants to play Samurai? Alright let's get those beautiful little black resin pieces and that awesome die-cut board out and via for position across the island nation! I'm in! Call me whore for I am proud.

Contrast this to another of my pal Reiner's games that I feel has even better game mechanics than Samurai but no theme to it what-so-ever... Ingenious. Damn what a really cool game with very cool mechanics. Flavor? Totally lacking. This probably explains why I have yet to add this game to my collection. I get to play it now and again at con's and such and I get my fill. Still if I were able to think of myself as a character of some sort, attempting to fulfill some sort of goal I'm certain I'd have a copy of the game in my closet right now. (Half my games must be gay as they are in a closet. I have the other half in a cupboard...and some strewn around the house here and there as you can imagine.) No doubt about it you can feel that this game plays very similarly to some of Reiner's other designs but those have (as people like to pick on him for) a theme pasted on. ME I'm not going to pick I'm going to applaud the addition of theme to those games and fuck it I'll say flat out that I think this game would sell better over all (not just to me) to gamers, specifically American gamers who like designer board games, had it been included with a theme. I'd suggest Kingdom's as the proof to this. That game is certainly an abstract numbers game. Yet slap on a little theme and the game goes to FF's Silver Line and does pretty well, then get's reimplemented as Beowulf the Movie board game in a big box...hmmmmm wonder if that would have happened if this were themeless? Doubtful. This whore would buy the theme game.

Now I have to turn my attention to the GIPF Project games. WOW cool games. Much like Ingenious they have great mechanics. Given them theme-free abstract nature however I own..none of them and won't. I'd much rather pick up Ponte del Diavolo as there is evidence of even the slightest bit of theme slapped on with islands and bridges and neatness like that. Better yet than Ponte del Diavolo is Uberplay's much underrated game The Bridges of Shangri-La or as we have dubbed the game in our group "The War of Enlightenment." Given that we can so easily turn enlightenment into a warring aspect shows you just how loosely this theme is attached to a very abstract and number counting game. Still the game can be fun. Yes there is some down time and really be careful not to play with AP'ers as their turn can easily become 5 to 8 minutes every time. This game is not Colovini's (not on a first name basis with Leo but working on it) best game to date by far. I'm not going to try and convince you of that. Never the less it's a good game and it's got a neat little theme and let's you destroy bridges. When do I get to do that sort of thing in Zertz? Never...I AM WHORE.

I feel like I've made my point here. In addition to that I feel like there's a lot of gamers out there who will agree with me. You may not want to in your head but your heart screams "He's RIGHT, Give me theme I'm a whore too!" It's not the popular view point to get this hung up on a game having theme but fuck popularity. We play games to entertain our brains and challenge us not to be popular. I (and I believe a lot of you out there too) can derive that entertainment to a higher level with a theme. I do not think that is everyone...there are plenty of people who don't need a theme...but they freaks anyway who get off on statistics, probably watch anime porn,who's idea of a good book would never have a vampire or zombie in it and wears those extremely lame shirts sold by woot. ( http://shirt.woot.com ) So screw them anyway.

Stand with me, embrace your title and be proud...be a theme whore.

Why Do I Gotta Be Mr. Pink?

2008-01-01T16:07:00.000-08:00

So it's the first day of the 2008 huh? What did I do? I created Pink microbadges for BGG. Here's what they look like:

Yep that's right they look identical to all the other "I play with X color" microbadges but I was surprised to see Pink wasn't an option. Here I am with this handy dandy microbadge coupon and the badge I want doesn't even exist. So I took care of that.

Now why on Earth would a guy like me want a "I Play With Pink!" microbadge you ask. No I'm not gay I'm actually very heterosexual if you haven't picked up on that by now. In fact one of my reasons in choosing pink whenever it's available is based around my extreme heterosexuality but that's still coming. (Pun very much intended so all you pervs get bonus points.)

The first and probably most originating reason is simply this. I'm very amicable about what color I play in a game. In our group we have one player who always plays WHITE (as his last name is White) one who always plays yellow (as he feels no one likes yellow so now it's his favorite) and one who always plays red (as...well I don't know why but he's always RED!) So in the handful of games where pink was available I found that color was the last option to be picked time and time again. I gladly picked up the color and found I've got some pretty good success with it.

You probably would never have guessed it but I kind of like violent movies. I know that comment may seem a bit "out of left field" for this topic but hang with me Cochise and you'll see where I'm going. Being a fan of ridiculously violent films Reservoir Dogs certainly reigns in some of the my favorite of the genre. Now if you are familiar with the film you will know that Steve Buscemi plays the character Mr. Pink in the movie (all the gangsters are given "colors" so no one knows each other's name when the job is done) and puts up a pretty good fight against being dubbed Mr. Pink. Still at the end of the movie who is the only character left alive? Mr. Pink. Oh wait a second and who had the diamonds last? Mr. Pink. Who stashed the diamonds before showing up to the redevous point? Mr. Pink. Who's gonna make off with ALL the diamonds all to himself? Mr. Pink...so in that little game who in fact is the winner? MR. PINK! Seems like a logical enough reason to pick up the pieces and play the color. Call me Mr. Pink and it's your doom bitches!

Here we are, 2 reasons for playing pink down. One of them reasonable one of them at the very least humorous. So where is that highly heterosexual reason? I like playing with pink bits. When I make a comment like that I'm not talking about anything that has anything at all to do with gaming here boys. Throw your mind in the gutter (or at least between a womans legs) and you'll get what I'm driving at. So if I can't be out there with a woman playing with the pink bits I like the most...I'm damn well sure going to play with the only pink bits available to me!

In closing, I like to play pink now. It's become my own little monicker almost in our group. Everyone knows now to leave pink for me...but they all seem to be alright with that, except when they get beaten down like little punk assed playa's by PINK. I don't go out of my way to buy a game just for pink pieces but I have painted some pieces pink in games that didn't include that color. I even purchase a very old copy of Risk recently just so I could cannibalize the beautiful wooden cubes (and those pill shaped pieces too) that they had back in the day because...PINK was a possible color. Am I obsessed with pink? Maybe. Do I care? For shit's sake, NO! Was this a waste of a blog to write and your time to read? Of course! I've now deleted a few more minutes of your life...and it felt good.

A Little Rally for the Valley

2007-12-22T18:07:00.001-08:00

An observation of mine is that people in general, just aren't happy, can't be made to be happy and quite possibly don't want to be happy. Perhaps the only happiness a lot of people feel they can even begin to revel in is their ability to piss and moan about the things that make them unhappy. Then when they get to a point in life where things are relatively good for them they realize they don't have any unhappy things to piss and moan about so they are truly unhappy. This gives them the go ahead to begin pissing and moaning about the stupidest of shit in an effort to restore their glory days of piss/moan happiness. Stupid shit that really doesn't matter yet somehow through their departing of wisdom upon us...their eager to listen masses...elevates them to some knowledgeable level of being and they can then look down upon as royalty in their realm as they reign king....of nothing.

OK so I'm in a bit of spiteful piss/moan mood of my own tonight, bite me.

"What the hell is this all about" I can hear you asking from behind your compy screens. Suppose I should get into then and at least clue you in to what the catalyst of this entry was. See there's this website all about board games. It's a site that I never mention (I'm lying) here in this blog. It's a site that I never (still lying) reference or refer people to and I certainly don't (yep, another lie) have their widgets embedded into my blog on the left over there showing you bits of my collection, etc. On said website they occasionally have a little podcast by the dude who runs it and the dude who use to run but it and helped set it up and then moved away so he only shows up every now and then. I'm going to be kind and not say that I'm talking about Derk here. While at it I'll also not say that I do like Derk and feel we have a good bit in common taste wise in games. I'll further say that I even think a bit of personality matches between us as well, at least judging by his posts and comments.

So recently the unnamed Derk joined Aldie on a podcast and the topic was brought up about Valley Games and all their reprints. Derk made a couple of comments that I feel were...well wrong. His comments were basically that he didn't think Valley chose wisely in their target market as the fans of the games were going to be the rabid crazed fans of the game and nit pick everything. He furthermore said that he felt reprinting some of these games was not a good idea as all the people who needed these games already had them.

To be fair to the unnamed Derk, he was as I said just the catalyst to this posting. In addition to his comments this fire has been fueled for awhile now in the comments and thoughts of gamers who post their dislike for minor...MINOR things that they blow way out or proportion in respect to Valley Games' reprints. (See my opening paragraph.)

Bottom line is that it's my personal opinion that Valley Games has done very well for themselves in almost all areas of their business model. As a young company and one new to the world of game publishing they have had a couple of hurdles to get over but they got over them and did so magnificently. So their pre-orders were slow...so what that happens. People get a grip for fuck's sake already. Valley Games went on to make it up to the pre-orderers by giving them extra sculptures (which I know also haven't arrived yet) than they previously promised. On top of that what you really did by pre-ordering your games from Valley Games was to ensure the game itself would get printed. Young companies need this kind of cash in hand and pre-orders do that for them. The sculps are just bonuses. It's like the crap the give you for pledging to your local public television station or the t-shirt you get for giving blood. You do what you do for the fact of doing it and it's not suppose to be about the bonuses. In this case what you are doing is specifically putting money up front to get the game you want...now sit back and be patient and low and behold your game did in fact arrive. Congratulations due to your direct contribution your helped birth the game. Smile, be happy, stop all your pissing and moaning about the delays. Shit happens people. Deal with it.

Then there are those who complain about the little nuances of the production. Maybe the art is this or that. Maybe the chits are circle and should be squares. Fucking mother douche bags! Isn't it possible that the original artwork was flawed? Hell maybe a dye lot got screwed up between proof and print. That's been known to happen, so what should be done then? Should the entire shipment be sent back to be reprinted meaning another 6 months wait time? Yeah that's all Valley Games would need!

As for their selection well for me I say it's been so-so. At any rate the big price tags that these games have been fetching on eBay means there are people interested in it. If it were only a handful of people the bids wouldn't get so high. So from a market stand point I think they did very well. Will sell games to new people who are curious, people who loved it but don't have it now and sure some completeist will buy it to have all versions of their beloved game. Good call. I do wonder about the MSRPs though. Perhaps some of their game choices which have higher prices might not move as many units just due to the cost of the game. I know I have actively avoided certain games because it's hard for me swallow shelling out more than $50 for a stupid board game.

To wrap things up this is a heart and supportive shout to Valley Games and a furrowed brow and scornful "Back off" to their detractors. Don't like Valley Games fine don't buy their products. Me I'm probably gonna own some of their games. Some I won't. Simple as that. The quality of their releases has been fantastic and the games have been a blast to play so far. Hey Ho! Let's go! Bring the games Valley some of us out there really appreciate what you've done for us so far.

The Value of a Box of Bits...Hey Look It's a Bandwagon, I Better Jump On!

2007-12-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

All good and worthy news sources out there report on the "hot topics" of the moment. Granted there is no way of mistaking TDHM for anything good or worthy much less a source for news but screw that as I said in the title I'm jumping on the bandwagon here and gonna talk about the infamous Mayfair deal of limiting how much a retailer can discount their product. Am I late on the topic? Yeah probably but I don't really care. Don't like it you can skip your happy ass right along to the next blog and ready about Susy Whitler's newest quilting session.

Hold on to your balls boys because as cheap as I am and as many times as I have ordered from online retailers I'm going to give a big 'ole "BRAVO" to Mayfair Games for being proactive in taking the first step to save our hobby. That's right I said Mayfair is trying to save our hobby! No I'm not one of those people who think that the internet is going to kill off this or put that out of business (see my previous post about Rays of F'ing Light and you'll see that my thought process is pretty much still the same here. That thought process is simply that online retailers are now feeling a bit of the crunch that the FLGS have been feeling for awhile and maybe they will need to rethink/rework their business model. Just like the FLGS also still need to rethink/rework their business model the only difference is now one of their product manufacturers is stepping up in support of them.

The only way for our hobby and that being the hobby of designer board gaming, to grow is for new people to find these games and play them. So the question then is how is that likely to happen? By some schlep sitting on the net surfing porn and jerking off who accidentally clicks over onto a site about board gaming (probability factor less than 1%). What about some schlep who happens to be taking his kid in to some new store that opened up in town to buy him some of the new Magic the Gathering expansion and he happens to see some board game that is themed around one of his favorite hobbies or something else that intrigues him? Which of these situations seems more plausible to you for creating a new fan of board games? (and YES I'm quite certain you were hoping for a nice porn image instead of me visualizing the MtG example but I do have scruples. Wait no I don't have scruples but there are rules for blogging that I was forced to agree to in order to have this blog in the first place. So blame "the man" for keeping you oppressed and absent of porn here at TDHM...or maybe check out http://pornaddictsanonymous.com/ )

Now I'm not a rich man. If I were I wouldn't be able to be bothered with writing bullshit for gamer geeks like you anyway. If I were rich I'd be far too busy entertaining all the hot ladies on my yatch all along the Spanish Rivera leaving me precious little time to play, think about and as mentioned write about a silly thing like board games. (Again no porn or hot chicks...that link for you one more time was http://pornaddictsanonymous.com/ ) My point here is that I understand the need to be frugal in shopping for games. No doubt about that. Hell for a long time I was the only person brining games to our group's gaming session as no one even owned any. [One of the negatives of living in a college town is that it's filled with poor students, of course one of the positives is all the hot young female students who walk around in next to nothing....sigh ( http://pornaddictsanonymous.com/ ) ] So there's some sort of balancing act that you as a fan of these games, as a hobbist, as someone who (should) give a shit about the future of gaming must work with.

Now who should be the responsible ones? On the one hand you have those who are more affluent than others...should they be the ones to only buy from FLGS? Well given that they are going to buy a large number of games if they did these few gamers could effectively fuel these stores almost by themselves. The truth is quite often these are also the ones who bring a large number of new titles out to be played. So then think how many more titles they can obtain and bring out if they were getting 30%-35%!

Then again let's say you are one who doesn't buy nearly that kind of numbers. What of you? Should you save up to buy a game or two here and there? Paying an extra 30%-35% would certainly slow your acquisition of games and that sucks ass too.

Mostly I think people will fall in between those marks. Regardless of this fact however I think that ALL of us are responsible parties. If you are gamer and you purchase games despite the quantity you purchase you need to be mindful of your purchases and spread them out. Buy some from online retailers and hell, I suggest you buy from those who offer free shipping at certain price points...if you are not going to buy enough to fulfill said minimum amount for free shipping get a group together and all go in. This way 4 or 5 of you will get a cheap game and no one pays shipping. This will also pressure those who don't offer free shipping price points to get off their asses and step up!

Still there are times you need to carry your sorry carcass into your local FLGS hang out and pick up that one game you really have been drooling over but for whatever reason haven't picked up...buy it! It's right there dammit, be an American and satisfy that instant gratification bullshit drive we all have in us.

Me personally well I can say that I very rarely purchase a $50-$55 game that I can easily buy online for $30-$35. Smaller games however I buy frequently locally. I mean when the difference is paying $20 for a game that is $15 online...well. I also tend to buy expansions locally because they fall into those price ranges as well as those lovely small box Fantasy Flight games and a few tuck box games. The profit margin is percentage wise still the same for the FLGS so when they look at their numbers they are going to see that they sold units in their board game inventory and encourage them to carry more and different titles. There will be plenty of people who walk in and pick up the bigger price tag titles too. Most of the places that sell games these days are not solely targeting us. Again they are going to carry the MtG expansions and probably some comics as well so again those dads bringing their kids in have a chance to browse these new shiny boxes of goodness.

Again I say bravo to Mayfair for stepping up and putting their neck out there. Days of Wonder! Where are you? Why aren't you next on this? DoW has a great line of products, great marketing and could easily jump into this as well and know that their product is still going to get stocked. Rio Grande? All their games are SDJ winners or nominees that alone is going to sell units no matter what the cheap ass gamers gotta pay for them! Enough buzz on BGG and there's gonna be a package sold and shipped right there.

Alright bitches that's my take on the situation like it or not. (As per usual with me.) Now for your horn dogs who've been waiting I'll throw up an image for you that relates to this paragraph specifically. Gotta love the internet, check out those hot little pink panties...damn you are pathetic. http://pornaddictsanonymous.com/

Games That Make You Go FUCK! Part 2: "Six Stress Stimulators"

2007-12-02T18:48:00.000-08:00

In my first column by the similar name I explained the thought process behind Games That Make You Go Fuck! Granted that first one was written from a negative slant but this one will be games that I do thoroughly enjoy but never the less make you go...Fuck!

Six Stress Stimulators are those games that even during the damnable setup of the game you are thinking to yourself "Dear God what have I got myself into?" or "Damn I hope I can manage to achieve X scenario before Joe-Bob" or even "Wasn't that colonoscopy I had done the other day less painful than this game?"

Yes these are games that I do adore and for some bizarre reason want to play again and again even though I'm pretty certain that either before or during the early rounds of these games I've been known to grumble "I hate this fucking game." Isn't that the mark of a good game though? Make those brain cells burn! Those gut wrenching decisions that you are not sure will pan out exactly like you wanted them to. Ahhhhhh yes sit down, play the game and go FUCK!

Die Macher. Certainly the inspiration for this list. The legend itself. The fabled game entry #1 on BGG and for a long time in the top 10 games on BGG. Yes a serious four hour tromp through the world of Germanic Politics at it's finest. What can I say about this game that has not already been said somewhere? I suppose I could say that playing Die Macher can be compared to taking a fine ground pesto paste, adding Tabasco sauce to it, smearing it on your gentiles and letting a goat lick it clean. In that I mean it's a bit scary to even to begin with, is a bit painful in the execution but somewhere along the line has a strong element of excitement and if the goat works it just right has a big pay off at the end. I could say and feel pretty good that nothing like that has ever been said in reference to this game to date. Yes I could say that but as I don't own a goat I have no real point of reference for that statement.

Die Macher is one of the few games that I've played that managed to squirm it's weasley ass into the coveted "Rank 10" spot on my BGG profile. Yes the game is that engaging. You get so sucked into this game that you do not feel the 4 hours slip past you like 4 hours of watching bum fights. You can't just say you have a tough decision to make right now...you have to consider how this decision is going to impact what you have decided to already decide in the next 3 or 4 phases of this turn not to mention the entire next turn of the fucking game. Damn I'm tired just thinking about a game turn...but I do want to play it.

Diplomacy. Ahhhhhh the grand daddy of the of the "Who's the biggest asshole" games. I mean really people. There is nothing quite like spending 5-6 hours of your pitiful life huddled around a table, getting up to go talk to this backstabber that wants you to screw that guy, come back and that guy wants to talk to you about backstabbing the original backstabber meanwhile 4 other people keep getting and going off to talk and you know it's about them all backstabbing you when you finally come to a conclusion as to what you are going to do and deals are made and you think everything is equitable the turn starts and that guy and the original backstabber both plunge their knives deep into your spine. NOW that's gaming. NOW that's stress filled gaming.

Yes a World War II game with no real battles. I invade, but we bounce, the game is after all called Diplomacy. So it's all about your ability to negotiate with irrational son's of bitches and try your damndest to not get ass raped by someone who last turn was your bestest buddy in the whole wide world. FUCK! Oh yes this is a good game and to think people play this online...why for all that is sweet and innocent...why would you ever play this online. This is a face to face game if ever one was crafted.

Crokinole. The Ultimate is top notch Canadian know how all wrapped up into a simple on the table top piece of furniture...uhhh I mean game. Who else could have brought us the imbecilic "One ass cheek on the chair at all times" rule other than those wacky Canadians? "SO! I'm gonna pick up one of my pucks eh, and i'mma gonna hafta knock one of your pucks the heck outta there eh." Yes a game that truly does feel it was invited on the floor of some isolated cabin during a 38 day blizzard when the fun of group masturbation had wore off (along with certain anatomy skin) and dinner was currently consisting of the group's 2nd pet dog.

I do like some dexterity games! No doubt about that and Crokinole is my favorite of the bunch. Think flicking those cursed little wooden pucks around isn't stressful? Try creating a league. Put together 8 to 10 teams of 2 people. Play a season of games where each team plays the other twice a season for point. Whittle the field down to half teams and start the playoffs...maybe single game elimination or if you are feeling really saucy make it best of 3. Then play the finals. The smack talk, the eyes upon you and the pressure of needing to get this one puck in the 20 hole...you know what's coming by now don't you?.....FUCK!

Voc. Do you even know what game this is? Voc! is Splotter Spielen's game about the found of the Dutch Indies company. Now doesn't that just sound ever bit as thrilling as a game about running for a chair in German politics? Well at least this one isn't 4 hours of endurance. No instead here the big deal mechanic is using a dry erase marker you must navigate your ship....with your eyes closed. So this leaves you wonder where to draw the line so you don’t crash into continents. No worries you faithful shipmates will help you navigate. Trick is they can only speak one word and usually the get to speak one word 2 maybe 3 times per sail. Throw in that chances are good you’ll end up on a boat with someone who doesn’t get which direction North/South/East/West is or better doesn’t know LEFT from RIGHT and gives you the wrong command plunging your boat into the murky depths of the ocean.

For those who haven’t played Voc yet it’s surprising how fast and hard your heart beats when you close those eyes and are hoping you are making a turn at just the right time. What happens when the idiots…I mean shipmates run out of words? Well you are still sailing they just can’t help you anymore…do you press on and hope for the best or stop and pick up next turn from this place? Why the for shits sake he is starting to laugh? Am I doing something good or bad? Am I still on target or did I drag the pen too far to the left wait is that my left or right? Ahhhhhhhhhh FUCK!

Antiquity. Another game by Splotter and so why not lump both these douche bag games right here together then? Here’s a game that let’s you build your civilization, pollute the world, kill off your people all in the name of furthering yourself. Awesome! Now if you are really working it you can even manage to get to a point where you start polluting in other players areas via the water ways so yes you get to destroy the natural habitat that way too. This game kicks so much ass in that sense it’s frigging amazing.

But that does leave you sitting there wondering…who’s gonna be polluting in your back yard and when? Did he manage to man his dump this turn? Cause I really need to dump my pollution in his area cause I don’t have the ability to anywhere around me I’m so damned full up from last turn. Oh but building is done secret so who knows what people have manned. Not to mention other players are not the biggest threat to your existence in this game…YOU are. That’s right Antiquity has built in self kill mechanism so each and every turn is based around calculating if you’ll be able to manage to keep your in the game. Forget playing for victory conditions dammit I’m playing to stay alive. Have I even thought about victory conditions yet? Well I don’t have a cathedral built yet to tell me what my conditions will be. Maybe I should look into…wait a second he just filled in those last two areas of my open space next to my 2nd city! I needed that for my pollution…FUCK!

Well there you go. Those are my picks of damned good games, game that I love to play and want to play again right now but none the less make you go “FUCK.”

What’s that? It’s only five games and I said six in the title? Well yeah that’s right but back off jack off. I was just using a bit of ultra cool alliteration and couldn’t make FIVE work. Does it really make sense to have a list of 6 some things when it’s common to use 5 as a mid/stopping point? Yeah, I don’t think so either. So that’s my reasoning anyway.

Could there be a sixth for me? Hell yeah and it seems to me if I were to extend a few brain cells to think on it the ones that now quickly pop into mind are the card driven two player games like; Twilight Struggle, Hammer of the Scots, Crusader Rex, and of course Hannibal: Rome Vs. Carthage. Still I’m not going to talk about those here and now cause I’m pretty damn sick of this entry already so thanks for sticking with it and getting this far.

Board games? You've got to be kidding right? I mean haven't we all grown up by now? What's the deal here?

2007-11-27T09:23:00.001-08:00

In a very careful attempt (and I do mean attempt in the sense that I expect to fail this attempt) to reduce my level of smarminess I write this blog entry with the lofty goal of creating an article that has been created many times before by many other people such as myself who feel they've got a grasp on what gaming is today. This entry is therefore mostly meant for those out there who think board gaming relates to things like Clue, Sorry, Life and yes Monopoly. The same people who consider war gaming can be considered to be Stratego, Risk, Battleship and if you are very well seasoned maybe you know some game called Axis & Allies. The people who think card games all come in two colors and 4 suits. Who believe role playing is something that you do only in bed with you significant other or with your therapist (however chances are good you are doing the same thing with your therapist as with your significant other....damn I think I just failed my attempt already!)

So if you happen to be a reader who is in the know about board gaming that I've written about already then you can skip this entry and move right along to something you've probably already read and therefore just leave my little spot on the web vacant and cold like you found it.

This is for those who stayed and will continue to read on. (There might be a prize nestled somewhere in this post too...of course there probably won't be but you never know.) Yes gentle reader I am here to enlighten you and bring to your base of knowledge the world of designer board games. First however. . .some history.

For pure history buffs the oldest Backgammon board was found in Iran on Jan. 11th, 2007 but that's really going a bit too far back in time for what this article is. So let's skip ahead a bit shall we?

It's given we all know the games I mentioned in the opening of this entry and know that they had their place in time with most kids growing up. Hell occasionally at holidays and what-not one of these will get dragged out and family will sit around the table spending useless hours arguing over little rules that make the game play differently each swearing that their rule book says their way is the official ruling. When in truth no one at the table truly knows the rules (does Free Parking really get you money or just a safe stopping spot?) but somehow the game finally is put under way and someone wins and everyone quietly sings praises that the fucking game is over. FUN TIMES!

Well back in the 1970's and 1980's gaming in the underground (read geeky) circles thrived in America with the advent some cleaver game companies making new games that played much differently than those tired old roll and move games. Avalon Hill simply OWNED the war gaming market but their games were complex and had huge dry rule books that took scholars to get through. Steve Jackson Games began creating lines of small cheap games with little to no components but core rules that played well and offered new gaming experiences to those who wanted more than D&D style role playing. These two however after many expansions found that they would get overly rules heavy and the game would fizzle out. Thus gaming still remained an underground (still read geeky) subculture.

The only real exception in this time period as far as I'm concerned (and in my blog that's ALL that's concerned) was some of the works of Sid Sackson who crafted some classic games that stand up tall against games of all time including the new designer games of today that I'm getting to. Included in this list would be Sleuth, Can't Stop, and one of my top games of all time Acquire.

Never the less the gaming world remained sluggish and dull for many years. Then in 1995 the face of gaming would change as we (and when I say we I mean us gamers) know it forever. Settlers of Catan was created and released. This was a German game that thrived and took a strong foothold in European countries. What made this game so different? Well it stripped away the idea of what a board game was in that the conventional board became modular board made of hexes that could be varied so that the dynamics of each game were different. It brought out a need to make strategic decisions and play in a state of thought provoking moves that would have you trying to benefit yourself but at the same time you had to benefit your opponents too. This game had a rule book that was small and easily understood by those who were not use to the forward thinking of what a "board game" was. Yes simple rules that allowed for so many options each turn, and gaming breathed it's first breath in many years.

So that's what we are talking about here. Designer board games. Games that engage the brain but don't take 7+ hours to play. Games that offer challenge and tough decisions that have to be made but don't bog you down with a rule book that is so thick it could be used as a weapon. Now that we know a bit about that I'm going to take some time here and give you some of the categories of games we play these days and maybe some suggestions as only I can (again it's my blog, if you don't like it shove off!)

Gateway games. This is terminology used by many "seasoned" gamers to describe a game that can be used to expose a non-gamer into the world of designer games. A lot of the "upper crust" gamers don't like these games as they call them too simple or maybe they've got too much luck in them, but I tend to think those people are pretentious pricks anyway. All the games I list here are more easily digested than other games but I'm not going to recommend a game I don't like.

To start off with I'm going to say nearly the entire line of games by Days of Wonder. This company does a fantastic job with their production, rule books are clear and simply with many examples in pictures and even show you a completed setup so you know you are doing things right from the start. The games all have great themes and play quickly. My suggestions from their line for new gamers; Ticket to Ride (with 1910 Expansion), Shadows Over Camelot, Pirate's Cove, and Memoir '44.

In addition to games by DoW other gateway games that are worth looking into given the theme you are looking for are; Mall of Horrors by Asmodee, Carcassonne (another personal favorite), Boomtown (great intro to bidding games) and yes Settlers of Catan.

Now that you've done some research into these games and have an idea of what we are talking about when we say designer board games, let's go into a little more detail and talk about some games types. I will be attempting to keep the examples of games all light to medium weight games that would be good for new gamers.

Tile Laying games. These are games who main mechanic involves usually drawing a tile from some sort of general supply and placing it either on the game board or even to use the drawn tile to create the board.

The above mentioned game Carcassonne is a tile laying game along with Aqcuire. These are radically different games so when thinking of games in the form of "tile laying" understand it's simply a mechanic and the style of game outside the theme will play differently and feel differently. Other examples of some great tile laying games are; Alhambra, Arkadia, Vegas Showdown, Tantrix, Pompei, Oasis, California, Tsuro, Dungeoneer, Drakon, Gheos, Tavula, Squint, Gheos, Cape Horn, Ingenious, Zombies!!!, Mid Evil as well as a slew of railroad themed games that you can easily find.

Auction/Bidding games. Possibly one of my favorite game mechanics but it's true that some people don't like auctions in games. Of course these people are inferior and should be ignored. Auction/bidding games force players to use their resources carefully in gathering the items they need to win the game. Some even throw in the fact that the money one play spends goes to other players so while helping yourself out you are then forced to help your opponents.

Some of my favorite auction/bidding games are; Aladdin's Dragons, Ra, Boomtown, Hollywood Blockbuster, Masterpiece, Vegas Showdown, High Society, Manila, New England, Amun-Re and Ys.

Area Control games. Simply put you win these games by having control of areas of the board. Usually that means majority rule in an area for "control" and the method of getting your pieces to in those areas will vary from game to game and even might be a combination of the other styles mentioned here. To give you an idea of some of these games look up; Mission Red Planet, San Marco, Age of Empires III, Himalaya, Capitol, Tikal, Louis XIV, China, Ys, Tempus, Kahuna and yes I'd even suggest the new takes on Risk which are Risk 2210 and Risk Godstorm...although I prefer Godstorm.

Take That games. These games involved a lot of player interaction. The goal of these games is part to win yourself but also part to beat your opponents down in the getting there. These tend to be VERY light, quick to play, easy to teach, full of yummy randomness and lots of time are card games in fact. Can be great fun just make sure everyone knows it's all just that FUN and feelings won't get hurt. Try out; Hex Hex, Run For Your Life Candyman, Munchkin, Ninja Burger, Family Business, Lunch Money, Mag Blast, Guillotine, Lunch Money, Bang!, Kung Fu Fighting, Brawl, Fightball and the list of these could go on and on and on.

Dexterity games. The main mechanic behind a dexterity game is physical input. That's right these games require you to have some sort of physical action to play the game. Can be loads of fun if you ask me and it's amazing to me how these games scale from kids to adults...everyone wants to play these. Some of my favorites include; Bausack, Crokinole, Hamster Role, Nache Der Magier, Pitch Car, Loopin' Louie, Polarity, and you know what...JENGA!

So there you go, a nice sampling and explanation of what the hell we got going here. There are plenty of other styles of games I could include but that'll get you started. Maybe I'll add more later...maybe not but can't hurt you to check...it can however take up some moments of your life that you will never get back but if you've read this far already WTF right?

Anyway now you know so get out the play some games.

How the West was gamed. Analyzing the field of Western Themed games...I just wanted to use ANAL in the title of a post.

2007-07-05T05:32:00.000-07:00

Awhile back I wrote a post about pirate games. I started off by trying to shatter the facade that has been generated (mostly thanks to Disney and Johnny Depp) that pirates are good guys. I listed some of their vile and evil deeds that never gets represented in games and movies to show what a real pirate's life is...then basically said that I would like to see a game like that. The rest of the post went on about how there are precious few good (and I stress the word good here because there's a basically a fuck ton of pirate games made) pirate games out there and my lamenting over this issue.

So today we look at The Wild West and see what the world of gaming has to offer us (in association with a recent geek list I made) with this theme. The first question I ask (as I did in the pirate post) is simply do board games offer a true to life cowboy/western experience? The answer is no. No we don't get to enjoy the hours on end of putting up, riding and maintaining miles of fences on a ranch so the cattle can't get away. I've never had to reshoe my horse in a game. There are a lot of other mundane tasks that people who lived their daily lives in the west faced and none of these are in any of our board games. Thank God for that! Whereas I would like to see a game encompass some of the wilder side of pirates life a good western game should strive hard to steer clear of these daily dull tasks. Instead focusing on the rarer occasions when violence would rear it's ugly head. For the most part that's exactly what's taken place in gaming. In fact I can only think of 1 game that I've played personally that even touches on some of slightly duller moments and that's Way Out West which gives points for having cattle herds...but then again you get to kill off other players herds if they don't have enough cowboys present to protect them. So that theory is only sound for so long.

With this entry to my lovely little blog (you love my blog you know you do...don't lie to yourself anymore) is not going to focus on the idea of "where is the good game" as I fully acknowledge that there are good western games out there but rather just take a gander at the games that are available out there and see what's what.

What games then are we looking at? Not just cowboy games but games that have a western theme of any sort. That being western America in the given time frame that we typically think of when we flash images of Clint Eastwood, Sam Elliot and John Wayne through our minds. This does not have to have anything to do with cowboys...in fact I plan on covering a game that is about the Indians of this era as well. Let me stress that this is not a review of any of these games but rather a quick analysis of the game and my "Guns Up" or "Gun Down" on the game...guess I need a holstered gun cause some of them I've not played yet but deal with it.

Much like my pirate entry this will not be an exhaustive coverage on all games wester/cowboy theme but rather be games that I; know, own, played or are interested in. So your piss ant little "You didn't talk about Blah Blah game" comments are far from welcomed. Other piss ant comments however are fully welcomed.

The ispiration of this post comes from the recent released product by Worthington Games called simply "Cowboys: The Way of the Gun". This game is designed to recreate nothing more than the terror's of the west tromping through town and needing nothing more than to be gunned down by the "good guys." That's right Cowboys recreates just the gun fights of the old west and does so simply, cleanly and without all the mucking about that some of the miniatures games out there likes to throw in that bogs an otherwise good game down. The game has enough detail to it to make it fun. Facing, turn and shoot, fan fire, mounting, killing a mount while cowboy is mounted, angry town folk, line of sight, reload rules and....an action card deck just to shake things up. Well done game worthy of a guns up status by me.

Seems like I'd be remiss to not go ahead and knock out this one. Bang! is a biggie in the world of western games despite it's small physical size. (See size does not matter....grumble grumble.) A great little game with characters and roles and lots of action cards. I think the Dodge City expansion is a necessary component to the game as it adds the green border cards that have to be played a full round before they are active...if they are still there. High Noon and Fist Full of Cards are highly optional I hate the actual Fist Full of Cards cards as it is nothing but a Sheriff loses card and that's just not right. If a person gets resurrected just a round or two before that card (the last card in the deck but shuffling cards can make this happen) then the sheriff has no chance at all. My only major complaint with the game is I don't think I've ever been fortunate enough to play the game where there are all veteran players and new players take quite some time figuring out what they want to do each turn. This can bog the game down quite a bit and your best bet is to kill off the new players quickly so they learn how to the play the game and it moves nicely. Ahhhh the way of the asshole...that means guns up from me.

Which brings me to Bounty Hunger: Shootout at the Saloon.

For those that don’t know this is the western version of Ace of Aces. Seems like these games should have a catch phrase to describe them like “Flip-Book-Game” or something but the creators just never got around to working that up. It’s a very unique gaming system where you roam around the square and inside buildings looking for people to shoot. The genius is that with no board and the game only being played within these books you can only use deductive reasoning to find your opponents. Once you get the system down it’s quick and you can add/remove various amounts of rules and additional elements to craft the game that best suits you and your group. Ace of Aces had a bunch of released (I found one page that chronicles 20 editions of that game alone) and Bounty Hunter was meant to have at least 2 other expansions but it appears they were never printed. So the down fall to this game is that you are limited in your roaming ability. Still a nice fun kill the other guy game. Definitely guns up here.

Bidding, bluffing and screwing over your friends with hot little Indian girls throwing sticks of dynamite. Man what more do you really need in a game? Boomtown brings all this and more to the table. A card game in which the goal is to…well basically just get points and have more of ‘em than anyone else at the end of the game. Not really a unique idea you know…point collecting but it’s a helluva lot of fun and the theme works if you ask me. It could have been theme something different but it wasn’t and it’s included here. Bruno Faidutti is one of my favorite designers and you can feel his signature chaos elements throughout this game. Again it’s a fast game so even if you decide to play it twice you still a probably haven’t lost more than an hour and half at best and that’s if you had to teach the game. I guess it can drag a mite bit if you have some fucking AP player who ever single round of every single auction has to think diligently whether or not to bid up the price one more time when everyone else at the damned table knows for certain he’s going to. You know that guy. Guns up greatness!

I know very little about this game other than it's a card game, based in drafting and set collecting which I like. By Bruno Cathala who was co-designer of the above Boomtown and other games I've enjoyed greatly. It's by Blue Games which is known for crafting (in my mind anyway and where else does it matter really?) short, light fun little card games that have some depth to them. The theme is basically living the real cowboy life as it get riddled with encounters from various events that will take place through the day of trying to get your ranch to a level of success and ultimately bringing you victory. I'm not sure the jury is still out although it's pretty cheap and could easily be tagged onto a game order if I were to do another big one...would really like to score it in a multi-game trade. Obviously holstered guns here.

This game takes a real beating in the general “Designer Game” world but those uber-gamers typically don’t like things like chaos and randomness in a game. This one is full of both and I love it. Chaos from the cards as you never know what’s going to come flying at you from who and randomness from the massive dice pools you put together. You can end up rolling 12-14 D6’s as an attack and have that many rolled back as defense! Further with the damage system as it is you end up rolling quite a hell of a lot of dice and everyone’s only got a maximum of 3 health. You do only 1 point of damage per every multiple of 5 you rolled minus defense. (Example you roll 28 points on damage opponent rolls 14 in defense leaving 14 left over…he takes 2 points of damage unless he can avoid it via a card.) It’s a mini’s game stripped down to the basic move, shoot, power up shoot again…except being as it’s based on a computer game you are never eliminated….you just respawn and have to collect weapons. A really good game, let's see those guns up on this one then.

Way Out West brings the look and feel of euro-gaming to the world of the western front via the mechanics of Martin Wallace. This is a pretty good little game with some interesting rules giving the game it’s own distinct personality. Does it feel all that cowboy like? Only to a minor extent I would say but it does some so that’s something right? The game has effects like raising cattle, buying up stores, holding up the bank, and all kinds of attacks. I like it fair enough but it can drag if you don’t keep on top of the players and make sure they know it’s their turn. 15 minutes after doing nothing someone says “Is it my turn?” and the table responds “FUCK! Yes it’s your turn.” The game itself is made by Warfrog which means fair enough production value and a bunch of little chits to spill all over the board, yep guns up on this one too.

Ace Murder Mysteries is the maker of A Backful of Bullets and it’s as you can deduct…and if you can’t manage to deduct that you don’t need to be playing this game…is a murder mystery. Think of it as one of those “How To Host A Murder” dinner party game type things. I’ve never actually done any of those but this one with it’s western theme is certainly interesting to me and making me wonder about it. I like food, I like party games, I like mur…uhhhh I like food. Yeah that's it I like food and eating food. Interesting take though in that you are trying to solve who shot (and killed) Jesse James in the back. I’d like to see this one unfold but I have heard these games don’t have much replay value even with the changing endings. Keeping 'em holstered here. Have to wait and see.

Just like I would have been amiss for leaving Blackbeard off of the Priatey list so I would be also for leaving Gun Slinger off of this compilation. This game from 1982 by Avalon Hill fits the bill for exactly what AH was delivering game wise ‘back in tha day.’ Tons of details, tons of flavor, tons of rules, tons of sub-rules, and tons of sub-sub-rules. “You can see clearly here in section 9.12.3.3 where the rule book talks about getting a shave from the local barber that if I have the barber start shaving on the left check and not the right I’ll be able to see out of the window for the 2 players turns and therefore have opportunity fire as you pass by. Now if you were coming from the west and it were 3 o’clock the sun would be shining in the window and I’d have no shot at all but it’s obviously only 2:47 at this point in the game and the sun’s too high for that. Whereas if you were coming from the north and kicked the door in you we both would have a shot and you easily would shoot first however I still get to use the barber himself as cover.” A good game? You can say it’s well designed and thought out but don’t be surprised if a conversation like that takes place. Dammit! I just want to play a game, move around and kill people. Guns down baby, sad to say.

Ahhhhhhhhh at last an American Indian themed game in my pile. I own this one and after reading the very unclear rules several times I knew part of the game would be a HUGE bog down. So I check some sources and found where people were playing a variant...it seems like this variant is just what a lot of people are asking for too. Instead of letting players freely choose what cards will be played each hunt have them shuffle the whole damned deck! It's faster (thank God because this game does NOT play in 30 mins.) and mixes the Euro/American game style nicely. WTF? A hybrid game? Yeah that works. Still the game kind of...well let's be nice and say sucks but not horribly so. I think I would hate the game with the original rules as some people do and well am not really sure I'm ever going to play this one again really. It's a remake and the quality is top notch, great art blah blah blah if that gets your rocks off and that's all you need go for it. The game play itself is monotonous and boring. Guns way down on this one.

While the list of games available for this entry can go on and on...I can't, well I could but I don't feel like it. I'll probably add to and fluff up this entry as time goes on but here's what I got's so far. Dig people play 'dem western games.

Like I've got the time/energy/motivation to write more?

2007-06-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

What was I thinking? Just because I like party games and just because some site wanted to find some writers for the genre of gaming does that mean I should be the one to volunteer for it? Probably not but I did anyway. I think I've called myself a dork before on this blog and much worse in all honesty but in case I haven't I'll take care of that one right now. I'm a fucking dork.

I like writing in this blog and I'm suppose to be writing a little bit in another person's blog (that has everything to do with playing and nothing to do with gaming...there's only a select few of you who will get that reference!) That blog I write under a different name and it'd be pretty hard to find it and even harder to prove it was me! THoiA is easy to figure out though if you really wanted to.

Anyway I'm rambling, still I wonder if that's not what a blog is for...wait rambling again.

The point here is that I'm now writing for Board Game News now as you guessed it reviewer of party games. I will say that when I submitted material for consideration I showed the Eric my blog (one of the precious few I've ever SHOWN my blog to) and told him I write from a kind of hard edge. He was cool with it as long as I could write objectively. Well if a game sucks I feel I can objectively show people how and why but at the same time the 2 reviews I've posted here have been based on games I love. (JVT and Combat Soldiers.)

Keep in mind though I will be "toning it down" a bit for the readers of BGN as they aren't exactly use to a lot of harsh language and statements like the ones I throw around this blog. So don't go over there reading those reviews and think you will be finding my typical fare because you won't. I am considering however after writing a review for BGN taking the review and retooling it for TDHM. That way you can get the full brunt of my thoughts on a game. :) After all that's how I like it anyway.

In closing let me be a little serious for a moment. I did actually choose to do this because 1. he only wants me to write once a month...I can do that. Mostly it's because 2. BGN is a great gaming website. I highly suggest you guys click the link above and check them out. This site's been around for awhile and is produced by through a labor of love. It's got great material and is an excellent gaming resource.

Until next time, save the pink bits for me.

Games That Make You Go FUCK! Part 1: "An Assemblage of Asinine"

2007-05-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Welcome back haters...like anyone's reading this.

Alright so I'm going to "start a new series" or if I were doing the whole Pod Cast thing (see the post about "To Cast or Not To Cast" for details) this would be a new segment...I come up with stupid, inane shit all the time and if you read my blog the you are the one who has to deal with it, not me. I suppose I could leave these strange mind numbing pieces of cranial methane alone and hide them away so no one would ever be harmed by them. No, instead I'm just going to purge myself of this need to write for my own masochistic reasons and leave my spewings here on this page for you to gobble up. Yum yum.

Still with me? heheheh

Games That Make You Go FUCK! Will be a series that I write up whenever I damn well feel like it. The goal will be to pick a subject matter and then lump a bunch of games into that little box as I damn well feel like it. Today's writing is "An Assemblage of Asinine" where I pick out some "games", and that's a term I'll use very loosely, that someone out there should be incarcerated to creating, someone else should be flogged for producing, someone else should be emasculated publicly by having their balls painted yellow dipped in honey and dangled over an ant hill for having decided to carry this product. In other words atrocities of the gaming world, laid out right here for you to see and read about...because I damn well feel like doing it.

(A note before continuing...Games That Make You Go FUCK! will not always be negative as I don't see fucking as negative. In fact mostly I see fucking as very positive and future editions of this series will showcase games where you use FUCK! as a method of praise for the games in that group.)

{Sponsor begin}
Games That Make You Go FUCK! Part 1: "An Assemblage of Asinine" is brought to you by:

{Sponsor end}

Corx is our first piece of shit on the chopping block. The concept here is...get this...you pick up two corx (which is a cool spelling of the word Corks) and drop them. How they land is how you score. Ewwwwwww if they both land on one end you get big points. Hey now that's fun. Then your opponent does the same. Next it's your turn, pick those Corx back up and do it again. WOW! This rocks! Yeah well no it's really a bullshit method of trying to peddle off some useless piece of crap to kids. Hell the website for this product has even started up their own "lingo" for the game in an attempt to make it seem like it's got it's own cool subculture. So they thought they could play on the kiddies sense or need to belong...problem is there's no other kiddies out there that are in this new clique to belong with. What crap.

OK so next up is Monday Night Football Interactive TV Card Game. Well with that many words in the title it, you know it's got to be a fun game right? Alright so here's the gist. Tune in to the Monday Night Football game....there's the first problem with this game! It makes you watch football. Now, deal out a hand of cards. Plays and things appear on them. When that play happens play your card for points. So yeah what you got here is a game that gives you no control over whether you win or lose. Just play friggin' cards from you hand when/if you can then add up points when you are done. Hmmmmmmm Ok. I think you can figure out how absolutely ridiculous this is all by yourself and I'm not going to say anything further. Moving right along. . .

So next up is Fishing for Terrorists. Not as many words in the title of this game as we had in the Monday Night Football Interactive TV Card Game but then again there's not as many mechanics either. While Monday Night Football Interactive TV Card Game was a terrible game given it's mechanics Fishing for Terrorists is equally as bad with less. Playing on a poignant time frame this game was released in hopes of selling a few units based on the humorous theme. Still you can't get past the fact that you are playing WAR! That's right "good" ole war that you can just as easily play with any one of the 3 decks of cards you can get for $1.00 at the cheap ass store instead you can now shell out $20 for and give it a go with "humorous" artwork.

So if you are here reading my blog chances are you are a "hardcore" gamer. You aren't the type who gets juiced up thinking about playing a rip roaring game of Monopoly. Sure someone reading this may have accidentally stumbled onto my blog and like a train wreck can't seem to pull their vision from the atrocity of it but for the most part if I have readers they are going to be gamers. As such this "game" titled simply LCR probably defies all logic to you as it does to me. Pick up the dice throw them and get rid of your chips as per what the dice tell you to do with them. OK. Now pass the dice and let someone else do the same. When the dice come back to you repeat. huh? Alright well I don't even know how to rip this game a new one it's so completely ridiculous. So I'm going to move on. Still you hear time and time again what a good seller this is for the game stores. WOW Way to go whoever...rake in the cash of the gullible idiots out there who insist on throwing it at you.

My last little entry here is a hodgepodge if you will. First off is going to be all the licensed rethemes of "classic" board games. Not every movie out there needs it's own version of; Monopoly, Clue, Risk, Stratego and Life. The only one that seemed to make any sense to me at all was the Scooby Doo Clue...they were after all detectives. I did actually see Monsters, Inc., Life in Monstropolis game in action. Because it was a Disney movie it was retooled as well as rethemed and you don't have babies anymore...guess that's too close to having sex and can't let the kiddies know about that now can we?

CCG's and TCG's. Whatever you want to call them. Like above every theme that can be imagined is conceived into printed form for this medium of money sucking filth. Did you know there was an American Idol CCG? How about a Tomb Raider CCG? WHY!?!?!? They all tend to suck. Throw in my utter stomach turning disdain for any "collectible" game and you have a category here that I despise wholly. This is the utter putrid, vile butt droppings of the gaming world.

Alright well it's obvious that there could be more things in this list. I'm done here for today but I hope, like me you were able to look at the games and think to yourself "Fuck that's bad" and if so I further hope that it rekindled a new level of love for your current game collection. You may not have the biggest or best collection out there but be proud of what you have and be proud that these are not part of it.

HEIL ROOSEVELT!!! Combat Soldiers has you playing both sides of WWII A TDHM Review

2007-05-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

Alright on deck today for examination is Combat Soldiers: Battle of the Bulge. "This is not a wargame" the die hard grognards will cry. "This is too much of a wargame" the non-wargamers will whine back in response. "It's just a card game" comes the complaints of the boards gamers who don’t understand how a game can be played without a folded piece of cardboard. Followed closely by the "There's too much to it" as the card gamers sift through the chits. It’s not that hard to figure out people but this game is all of that and that's what makes it such a unique game, deal with it.

A wargame? Certainly but not in the typical you play this side I'll play that style. Is it an American style game? Yes but you can see the attempt to give the game some diversity in it's approach as well. See the game is about getting VPs and not winning the war…hell or even winning the battle. It's more like "taking bets" on parts of the battle. No player plays the Axis or the Allies…everyone plays BOTH the Axis and the Allies. That's right you can setup an army of German soldiers with on turn and have your already existing American troops move into a held area to contend for it. (Ahhhh the true nature of politicians running a war almost seemed fully embraced in that idea now doesn’t it?) The goal of the game is still intact with this maneuver as you are really only looking to gain VPs. In fact the individual unit cards have different units and are played with one unit in the upright position indicating what unit you want that card to represent. So I can easily see the wargamers thinking this just isn't right but then again they are still scrambling for their copies of Ogre and ASL and clinging tightly to rule sets that are 20 years or more old and not willing to pry their brains open to much new.

The game is pretty involved for a card game (and let's face it people, the main components are the cards) and there are a lot of little rules that are easily to forget or not be able to find again in the rule book after reading it once or twice. The rules literally house a sub-section about half way through the book called 13.5.2.4. This makes the rulebook itself stretch out to a full 37 solid pages of rules. That can really the freak the living shit out of those who are not use to it yet for those who are these rules are going to be simple and common place. Some of the verbage in the rules too gets a little inundating as your units can group, refit, reorganize or rearrange all of which means something different. In addition units can surround, pin, isolate or be entrenched within a garrison. All of these little rules will easily be classified as fiddly to someone not use to wargames and those bullheaded grognards will be more than comfortable with and use to.

Now I'm not going to go into detail on how the game is played as I said it's a 37 page rule book and that's just not my reviewing style. What I am going to say now is that if you are still reading this review then you have more than a casual interest in the game. I haven't run you off with the talk it not being your typical wargame when you wanted another Europe Engulfed. I've also managed to keep your attention in the face of the game being fiddly yet you are use to games with only a couple options on a turn ala Alan R. Moon games. That's a good thing because by virtue of you still being here reading this you are about to discover a pretty damned cool little game.

Yes a turn in Combat Soldiers takes some time to get through as they are detailed turns. The sequence of an turn is as follows:

A – Reorganize/Withdraw
B-Attack
C-Deployment
D-Rest/Refit
E-Discard/Repair
F-Draw

The turn however flows smoothly and there is plenty of player interaction within the turn as attacks happen frequently and preparation for the attack that an opponent is obviously building is fundamental. There's no map (it's a card game remember) so there is no messing about with movement, opportunity fire, or terrain effects which is kind of nice. This allows players to keep in the action and heat of battle which is what this game is really about…I mean don’t we play games with a war theme to feel the fury of unloading our machine gun into the belly of an enemy…or is that just me? Further the game is about your foot units (the fucking game is called Combat SOLDIERS remember) and the few armor units in the game while being tough as hell when they attack can be taken out of play relatively easily if you have some anti-tank units out there. Of course if the deck screws you and you don’t get the anti-tanks and another opponent or two manages to put armor in play then you might want to put both your handsin front of you in a nice little bowl format as you ass I most definitely about to be handed to you. The game is also fit with event cards that can be triggered to keep things surprising and put players on the edge as you never know when someone who is nearly out of the game is going to play that ultimate “fuck somebody over” card and swing the tide of the war.

The game itself is made by Lost Battalion Games who self publishes all their titles. The cards and chits look fantastic and have a nice high gloss feel to them. You start the game by setting secret goals for yourself that you try and make happen regardless of how unusual the combination of those goals are. These goals if accomplished award more VPs come game end and hopefully a victory.

The big problem with this game is what group of people you end up playing it with. Convincing those pansy euro only gamers to give it a shot could be a challenge and even assish wargamers might feel the need to shy away from it due to it’s simplicity and manageable playing time. Choosing what players to put this in front of is paramount. You need to find the players who are open to a game with more meat to it than Memoir '44 and yet is not a board game. A game that has a lot of detail to it but doesn't cover every slight detail of a war. If you think you've got the group that can embrace this mindset then Combat Soldiers is a highly recommended game. I like the game but due to the play group really don't get to play it much. Then when the rare occasion comes that I do I find I'm referring to the rule book a lot as I'm so unfamiliar with it. Bottom line this is a good game, well thought out, with a unique approach and very nice pieces that is simply put not for everyone and that’s alright I don’t personally like everyone anyway. Those who do like it are going to have hours of fun playing it though.

ADDENDUM (11/28/2007):
Queen's Games version is long out called simply Thebes and it's every bit as good as the 2nd version in my opinion. I will say that I think each dig site SHOULD have a set number of discs randomly discarded at the beginning of the game. Without it people just calculate which bag has artifacts left and how many instead of digging where their' knowledge best lies. That seems thematically broken to me. Simply start the game and pull out 4-7 discs from each bag (as you did in 2nd Ed.) and this is fixed.

Don't just want to be Indiana Jones, BE Indiana Jones..but without all that excitement, action and screwing of hot blonde nazi chicks. A TDHM REVIEW

2007-04-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ever dreamed of being an archaeologist living in the early 1900's? The fame, the fortune, the geekerie? Yeah me either but yes I do love the Indiana Jones movies and well it should be obvious that I like board games. SO a game about archaeology? Alright I'm on board with this.

The game is called Jenseits von Theben and the bottom line if you are already tired of reading my review is this game rocks. If however you want a little more about the game I think I can drone on some for you.

I've had this game in my "want" list (on BGG) which I use as pretty much a catch all for games I have interest in for quite a little while now. The game looked pretty keen and the ratings were high but sometimes ratings get a little over inflated on games like this that are limited run because those who have played them want to be 'cool' and have played an awesome game that you haven't played. (a big fuck you to those folks BTW) So I took a big ole grain of salt and want listed it hoping I might get to play it one day at a con or something.

Low and behold a friend of mine scored a copy of this hand made (only 300 of 'em made at that) game on eBay for a stupidly low price of $28 which included the freaking shipping! YES I hate him too but that not the point. The point my dear children is that I was able to finally play the game us (as in our play group) silly Americans now endearingly refer to as simply JVT. Ohhhhh let me tell you, I'm not just trying to be 'cool' when I tell you this game is now one of my favorites.

Alright so the game is played in weeks. Basically think of them as your action points but being as they are weeks it's a really keen little mechanic so that if you spend a lot of weeks to do something BIG it will put you way out in the future. Now the other players may get to play several turns as they "catch up" in time to where you are spending their weeks only a couple at a time. WOW! That's pretty cool, and I personally haven't seen this before but that's not to say it hasn't been done before...just I haven't seen it alright...you happy now, I called myself out on that one so STFU.

So what can you do with your weeks? Well you can travel from city to city. Each city will cost you 1 week time. Once you get the various cities there are items you can pick up that will help you in your excavations, or learn about the different areas to make your digs go easier. There are 5 different dig sites (Greece, Egypt, Mesopotamia, Crete and Palestine) so you need to be knowledgeable in that area to get the most bang for your digging buck and we all like to bang right?

So after you've spent some time researching the great libraries of Europe picking up knowledge (and probably vandalizing them as well if not fully burning them to the ground) it's time to get your hands dirty. So you travel to the dig site (at 1 week per point so this could be like a 4 or 5 week journey if you are in London or Paris and heading out to Mesopotamia) and then dig for a set number of weeks. The longer you spend the better your chances of pulling a rare artifact...for a large number of VPs. There is also the chance (as you are flipping cards from a deck, but in the Queen edition I understand it will be pulling tiles from a bag) that you get blanks and all you found while digging was dirt! I'm sure you'll have some "hired" laborers you can whip in your frustration it is after all the early 1900's and why should you take the blame for your own errors when you can make the foreman whip someone.

That's the basic core of the game right there with some other nice little things thrown in for funnities. (I know that's not a word I just fucking made it up, if I made it up obviously I know it's not a real word.) Congress cards that give exponential VPs based on how many you have, Exhibits that you need the right type of artifact for and then have to be in the right city on the exact week of the exhibit in order to be eligible for (what a pain in the ass but a necessary one), bonuses for most knowledge in different areas and oh I could go on but I'm not that kind of reviewer. You gotta buy me dinner first.

I've played the game now in 2, 3 and 4 player versions and I like 3 the best personally. This game definitely works 2 player but tension and pressure to get to the dig sites really comes on strong with each additional player. With 4 it seems like the dig sites get literally dug out and then it becomes this race around Europe to get knowledge cards for bonus VPs at game end.

Still I have rated this one a solid 9 out of 10 on BGG and don't see myself getting tired of it at all. It's got a great feel, plays quickly and solidly and gives you some tough choices to make. All things I like in what I call a great game and my beloved JVT is indeed a GREAT game.

Done.

The box lies in the name of making another sale...no wait that's the marketing deparment.

2007-03-19T11:44:00.002-07:00

How many players do we have? What games support that number? Oh, here's one that says it goes up to that number...let's give this one a try.

SIGH.

Then you find out the game that says it can support 6 players was specifically designed to be played with 4 and adding in the extra players really bogs the game down. Or maybe even worse it's a game that technically should be a 2 player game by all rights and well the box says it can be played 2 player but also with more. What about the worst of them all...the game that plays great with 5 players but the box says it can scale down to 2 players and while you are indeed going through all the motions of the game...it sucks ass with 2 players.

Dammit! Game publishers need to not be so freaking greedy when they put the number of players on the box. Be honest with gamers and tell us exactly how many the game should be played with. Granted I feel certain the aim here is to capture that one more sale that might not have been made if the game didn't say that it scaled down to 2 player or up to 5 or 6 and I do understand in this niche market publishers need every sale possible. Still in the long run they hurt themselves. A game that plays poorly with a certain number of players will get generate negative reputation based on that playing alone. Have one particularly bad gaming experience in a game and chances of you wanting to come back and play it again in the future are slim at best...not when there are so many other great games out there. Then in this age of the the inner-web people with spewing their every thoughts out on blogs, forums, and community websites that can be a down right damning thing for a struggling game.

I've seen plenty of times where a game was bought specifically to be played with a number of players in mind, usually 2. The game clearly states that it can scale down to 2 players but let's face it, shouldn't! Then the person who bought said game is disappointed and lets pretty much everyone at the gaming group know...oh sure the caveat is thrown out there "but it probably plays much better with more players" but that little bit of taint has already been smeared on the game.

Let's take a recent example. Iliad is a brand new small box game by Asmodee Editions. Bravo to Asmodee on several fronts with this game. 1. it's a small box game and is just a card game but rather than stick some giant insert in a giant box with only a handful of components to give a perceived value they put it in a slim, thin box and everything fits nicely. The decks (there are I think 4 seperate decks in this game) as well as the rules and these three keen looking god icons. 2. The game looks great, fabulous artwork. 3. The game itself plays wonderfully....for 4 or 5 players. The game box however says it's playable at 2 to 6 players. First off 6...you play as teams. That's ummmm ok I guess...in your group but my group is a pretty aggressive group and we are to fucking win the game dammit! Now let's talk about 2 players. This is fucking stupid. You have to discard one of the decks and the god icons...essentially taking out a key mechanic of the game that makes each siege fun. Why?!?!? This game just shouldn't be played 2 player if you have to gut the system to make it work. 3 works and I'm not going to argue that but it's really kind of clunky just because there's not enough other objects to attack. With 4 or players the pain tends to get split up nicely amongst the players instead of "pound on the leader" mentality that the 3 player creates.

Alright so where is the other end of the spectrum? Where is the 2 player game that shouldn't allow more? Well this is truly out there but I'll agree it's more of a rarity. The easiest example for me to throw out is a personal sticky point for sure. I do believe that the game is listed as a 2 player game on the box but the designer and the publisher both will tout that it can be up to 6 players. The said game is Memoir '44. The nature of the game is player on player yet I've heard time and again that it plays well as 6 (and even 8) players if each player commands one section of the board...which is divided into three sections! WHAT?!?! Why the fuck am I going to sit there and wait to play 2 maybe 3 cards all game! That's just stupid. Being as this is just one game in the Command & Colors line by Richard Borg I'm sure at con's when he's showing his games he touts this wonderful feature about all of the game. Now I like Richard a lot and have sat at his tables and played the games. Very friendly and fun guy but this system is not for more than 2 players.

However one specific offender of this thought process is the Reiner Knizia game Knights of Charlemange. The game simply put had to be designed as a 2 player game then the thought popped up, hey if we opened up the row in between the tiles we could squeeze in a third players. Alright I'm actually ok with that except that the cards will run out sooner and create less options and less tension. Still printing on the box "a game for 2-3 players" just wasn't enough! That's right...4 players and now it's team action! Oh you've got to be cranking my cock. That's just simply put bullshit. A great little 2 player game but don't push it to something it's not.

The real crime of this through process I haven't even mentioned as of yet. What about the games that made it through the play testing process and have been approved by the publishers and released to the public. The game clearly states for 3-4 players...then almost on the heels of the release of the game comes the 5-6 player expansion. Oh just fuck me in the ass sideways why don't you! If this isn't a blatant disrespect to the end gamers. Several of these games just simply put don't need and cramp up the board with more players. All I'm asking here is that these publishers lay off. Expansions can be good, add new cards, give me new things to change the game up a little but more players being the main part of the expansion is just being greedy. Greed will hurt this fledgling hobby of ours. Embrace your games as the designers intended, put forth a decent marketing campaign for it and live with the results. If the game is good as a 4 player game it will sell. If you game sucks ass, it doesn't matter how many players you make it applicable to it's still going to tank.

Weird insertions and asshole designers.

2007-03-19T11:44:00.001-07:00

Thank you Avalon Hill. Here is a game company that had the foresight enough to look at their newer games and say "That's just too much junk to have an insert. Why oh why don't more game companies make this crucial decision? The big open boxes of their newer large box games with a simple compartmentalized grid stuck in the bottom of the box is excellent. There's a big open box for you to bag all your pieces and store them in. Ahhhhhh that's how it was meant to be! Well done AH too bad you aren't still out there producing games these days.

Then you got Mayfare Games who insists on using the same insert for every game...of course that means their insert makes no fucking sense what-so-ever. What is that amorphis piece of black plastic that we see inside those smaller boxed games? Speaking of it...why the hell do we even have one in Catan the Card Game? I mean the whole frigging game is just a few square cards...does this really require an insert?

What about Phalanx...oh now here is a company who thinks everything has a place...damned right in a ziploc bag and thrown in the box dammit! Not according to Phalanx though. Take a peek inside Mesopotamia and you'll see the true example of a good idea gone hideously bad. A little spot for every little item. The biggest reason this is a problem is that there isn't a big BOARD to hold everything in place when the game is tipped or carried on it's side. As a tile laying game a board just doesn't exist. So sure enough components everywhere nearly every time you pick up the game. Some of their other games do have these highly defined and specific inserts too but the boards at least make an effort to hold all the bits in their rightful places...however if memory serves me correctly Maharaja, Revolution and Nero all use the same insert but that's got nothing to do with functionality just me taking a mental tangent for a moment.

Now I'm not usually one to make a big fuss over an issue like this because to me it's not an issue at all. If the given plastic insert of a game doesn't work then I simply remove it and throw the damnable thing away. I'll bag my components and toss them in the box. I have however heard time and time again that people don't want to do this because they feel they are throwing away a part of the game. You've got to be kidding me? This just annoys me. The mentality that you will keep something that causes aggravation, that's absurd.

Take the new Mission Red Planet...one of the worst designed inserts ever...NO one should keep that atrocity. That was just about the first thing I did when I opened the box. Certainly as this picture shows you can get those rockets into the box but why in fuck's name would you want to spend the time it takes to put all those rockets in there in that kind of order when you can be...oh I don't know playing another game? Now everything is very neatly packed in plastic bags and I can hand the players all their colored astronauts and their deck of cards quickly and efficiently. I actually believe when the insert was designed they forgot about the rockets. Think about it they knew they were going to sit nicely on top in the sprus just no one considered what would happen with them once you punched them out! Mall of Horrors which is also by Asmodee has a very nice insert and everything is neatly stored, so the company knows they can do it right. Iliad has a very small insert (as it's a very small box game) but is just fine for what it does.

Seems to me every company out there goes back and forth on good/bad insert design. Uberplay did a great job with Motley Fool's Buy Low Sell High. You don't even have to back the individual stock pieces or worry about the cards. The board fits so snugly into the box everything stays in it's given compartment. WOW! Sunken City also seems to be very well put together and no issues there. Oasis on the other hand is the game you toss the plastic monstrosity and bag the bits. Right down the middle of the road comes New England....almost the same approach as AH with their new Risk rethemes but it has a lovely fall leaves printed OPEN area so you are forced to bag the stuff and throw them in the box. This is the way to go if you have a game that has a bunch of small parts like this. Well done over all Uberplay.

So see I'm not hard to please (got a few women who can attest to that) I just want functionality. When done right a larger insert I can appreciate the work put into it and will happily use said insert for the life of my game. Just don't be artsy for artsy sake. Make it work nicely and do what it's suppose to do hold the fucking pieces in the box, nice and neat. Alright I'm done with this topic.

The Game's the thing....I don't give a fuck what you want to label it as!

2007-03-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

Good God almighty! It seems like everything in the fucking world comes down to people choosing sides and never seeing any middle ground. No one it seems can just play games anymore they've got to play their "style" of game. Ameritrash/Ameritype Vs. Eurosnob/Eurostyle games. WTF is up with this now? Games are simply diversions from the bullshit we have to put up with through out each and every day. A moment in time where we can sit down with some friends (maybe not all friends but hopefully at least a friend is in the mix of gamers) and push around some bits of wood or plastic on a cardboard board, talk a little smack talk and enjoy yourselves. People can't seem to leave good enough alone though.

So these divisions have been brewing and members of the "community" have been taking sides, battle lines have been drawn and it was only a matter of time until the various little skirmishes blossomed into a full fledge firefight.

Ahhhhhhh and so it came with all the fury of...well a bunch of geeks posting flame comments on their beloved BGG and the outcast scrambling to setup their own Blog so they can find the support they needed to make them feel ever so loved.

Now I'm not taking sides here...mainly because I think both sides were stupid equally and therefore it'd be a slew of ridicule to both. I will say simply that I enjoy the website BGG. I find a lot useful things about it but long ago I decided to cut down the amount I actually post there. Still it's unarguably the best database of board games you can find. It's hugely flexible in your search abilities and well it's become WAY too important to WAY too many people. I've seen plenty of games I that enjoy get the shit beaten out of them by BGG populace just because it wasn't "Euro" enough or had dice and that made it all luck driven. Likewise I've seen games that I can't stand be heralded as the King's Condom. (That's my own distorted version of the "Bee's Knees" but you are going to have to figure out why that's a good thing on your own little piggy.)

People seem to take things way too personally when someone says they don't like their favorite game. Like they slapped their grandmother or something. Shit people do you know how many different styles of music there is out there? Well that's because so many people like so many different things in music. The same can be said for; books, movies, TV shows, and for crying out loud board games. Get a grip! Play the damned games for the game that it is trying to be. If you find you don't enjoy after playing it then that is fine, rate it properly, give your thoughts and don't play the damned game again. If you can't handle someone doing the same thing to a game you do like, I suggest the following and pay attention this is a very strict method of dealing but should help you greatly.

1. Stare blankly at your monitor in awe at the words you are reading that are causing you such tortured emotional pangs.

2. Close your eyes, rub them vigorously so that you see those funny shapes blurring around, then reopen them...hope against all hope that what you just read will now be completely different and will read exactly as your entry on said game's comments area.

3. When you realize the person is indeed still staunchly against your game slam your mouse against the wall next to your computer so it smashes into pieces, stomp around your room kicking whatever fur covered pet's might be in your way. Can't hurt to punch a wall or door, the goal here obviously is to damage the wall/door and not actually break knuckles in your hand but take what you can get.

4. Next filled with shame of your previous action curl up in a dark corner of a closet somewhere and let yourself indulge in a good cry. Be sure to be locked into the fetal position so you can feel your hands on your back and you can pretend someone who cares (like that exists!) is comforting you.

5. When you've got to take a piss after a few hours come back here and re-read this article. Now realize what a complete dick you are being. Smirk it off and go buy yourself a new mouse.

(For those who didn't follow that...it was the 5 major stages of grief; Shock, Denial, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.)

Alright really, so now you are wondering where I was going? The point of this post is simply the point of gaming in general. To have fun. To not take things so stupidly personal. To be able to embrace gaming and games in general. Your opinion, review, rating of a game is not going to make me buy or not buy a game I want or don't want and mine shouldn't impact you either. Use my thoughts and comments (as I'll use yours) to gain maybe some perspective but that's about it. My point is that we don't have room for divisions in this niche market. If we want to see our hobby grow and expand we need to be at least accepting of all games. Otherwise outsiders who are looking to find a new hobby will see the stupidity (and trust me that's exactly what it looks like to them) and they will want no part of it. Let's all grow up, agree to disagree and play a fucking game already...although you might not want to play with me...I'm just going to beat. :)

Games as debilitating and possibly lethal diseases

2007-02-28T07:54:00.000-08:00

Todays Subject: Tenjo

Here I present you with a game based in feudal Japan where Samurai's and Shadow Warriors lead amies into battle on the...shiny black...map? The high gloss blackness outlined with gold lines that squiggle...and funny 4 pointed star castles...wait this doesn't even come close to resembling a map of Japan...fuck it doesn't resemble a map board at all? A casual passerbyer would swear you were playing some game based in space as the Daimyo figures even resemble some sort of power generating tower. OK the shadow warriors are very nicely sculpted figures but then given everything else is so abstract looking they seem out of place! This mish mash of art is best thought of if you were to imagine the works of Salvador Dali, mixed with Georgia O'Kieff (without the images conjuring thoughts of vagina's) and highlighted with a little Andy Warhol (only without so much color.)

This game when you view the entry on BGG has been listed on such geeklists as:

The Worst Game You've Ever Played
Worst. Wargame. Ever.
Game Breakers Part II >> Flawed Rule Designs
Diminishing Marginal Values >> Or, The More I Play These Games, The Less I Like Them
Games I hate, despise, loathe, and spit upon. (By Tom Vasel of all people!)
Longest and most Painfullest game I've ever played.
Games you just HAD to get rid of...
WHY?!?!?!
A-Z: The Worst Board Game for each letter of the alphabet.
Noble Failures
Games I hate. (part 2)
I Don't Have Time for this Bulls**t!

And to a lesser extent:
Games I desperately wanted to love -- but couldn't!
Decent Games that are Nonetheless Broken

And THANKFULLY:
Game Companies that no longer exist

I mean when a game is bad enough to make someone craft a GeekList AND invent a new word (Painfullest) to describe how bad it is...certainly there's merit to this notion.

The propaganda reads:

The peace that existed in decades past has vanished. A new breed of warlords has emerged. Among these men, authority depends on the ability to wage war. Each seeks to control and unify the nation.
You command a fearless army of Samurai soldiers, Daimyo generals, and secret Shadow Warriors. Your military strength is immense.

However, to acheive victory you cannot rely on military strength alone. Fear, greed, trust, and deception may be your most powerful weapons. You must anticipate your enemy's ambitions and understand the true nature of man!

In the end, only one can rule the nation. Will you be crushed by your enemy? Or will you have the ability to become Shogun!

As any good propaganda does, this makes the game sound intriguing, engaging and even fun. Much like reality though when the propaganda is stripped away what you are left with is embareassment, fear and overwhelming feelings of being perpetually lost.

Yes feudal Japan wars can be fun and to be honest there are some kind of keen ideas going on here with Tenjo. I like that the armies are single chips with a number on them representing the army size. These chips are played face down so you can easily have a stack of 5 chips that are 5,000 units or a stack of 5 chips that are 50,000 units and your opponent won't know until a) he attacks this stack or b) you attack WITH this stack. Neat! I like the border points giving you control of a province. See in order to get your round end "bonus" you have to control an entire province. The problem is to control it you have control ALL the border points of said province, yes these are shared points between this province and it's neighbors. So in order for you control Province A you will have to make it so no one else can control provinces B, C and D. This makes for some nastiness.

So without going into a full blown review here (because this isn't a review) let me give you the lowlights of the game.

The biggest point of contention I have come from the GeekList above about broken rules (in which Tenjo is the FIRST game listed and probably the main game that spawned the list) and it reads as follows:

Tenjo's promise - excellent bits, compelling theme and interesting mechanics - are all dashed by the overly harsh mechanic of rolling 1d10 at the beginning of your turn to see how many actions you have. It's so wildly chaotic that you could conceivably have 1 or 2 actions per turn while your opponents have 9 or 10. And the game is unforgiving enough that there isn't enough time for it to truly average out.

Far better mechanics could have smoothed this out, and there are numerous ways this could have happend: Rolling 2d6 for a more predictable curve of actions, alloting "action cards" you designate each turn (a la Carolus Magnus), bidding VPs/money for actions or turn order, being able to purchase extra actions if you're below a certain threshold, having each person roll and "drafting" the results based on game position, etc.

While I am not opposed to dice (I LIKE dice games actually) it just seems that dice are often opposed to me...see the name of this blog for reference to that. :)

The down time in this game is unforgivable. In a five player game it would not be unreasonable to expect 20-40 minutes in between your turns. Trouble there is the game really does not offer much to keep you in it between turns. I mean yes if an opponent attacks you, you battle but if they attack other opponents and not you...you sit...and wait.

Highly overpowered card system. I'm a HUGE fan of action cards. I've even made up mock action decks and rules for Crokinole! I think all games should have action decks. These cards are either useless...or ungodly and seem to not have any in between nicely playable cards.

Despite everyone else raving about how beautiful this game is, I think it's crap and does very little component wise to encompass the theme and setting of the game. The components are of good QUALITY and as mentioned the one nice piece...doesn't fit with the style of the rest of the crap.

A "never out" but "fully useless" mechanic. So let's say you are getting stomped. You fought the good fight but to no avail you feel your mortal coil slipping from you...but as a player NO you do not get to escape to the sanctuary of another (good and enjoyable) game. NO now you are Ronin and must wander the aimless blackness of the board doing pretty much nothing but bothering people. It's possible for you to come back from being ronin but if you do you'll be weak and easily stomped again. STUPID...just let me be out of the fucking game already.

So boiling it down we come to the analysis portion of this article...what disease does Tenjo best compare to?

Alzheimer's

Yes Alzheimer's is the disease and Tenjo is the game. See it's not one of the "cool" diseases where you get to talk to your friends about it as most of the time people afflicted don't know they have it! Well Tenjo isn't one of those games people go "Hey have you ever played Tenjo?" and you can respond "Yeah I've played and didn't like it." NO You bring this one up and get looks from people that are easily read as "Well you are the idiot to have played it, sounds like a horrible game you deserve the misery you felt playing it."

Alzheimer's patients often revert back in their minds to earlier times in their lives and no doubt when playing Tenjo you will constantly be thinking back to other gaming session where FUN was present. You will even fondly be remembering the moment you said "Yes I'll play Tenjo" and gleefully you will imagine yourself choosing another answer other than yes.

Alzheimer's completely incapacitates it's victims and with Tenjo...Ronin are useless. You can not effect the game as ronin and you can't redeem yourself either.

The effects of Alzheimer's is severe and watching a person degrade from this disease you can't help but think of the power it has over a person's brain. Tenjo's card systems can completely unbalance the game and put you under pressures that you are not able to free yourself from.

In latter stages of Alzheimer's a person's actions (if they are able to move that is) and their words become confused. In their minds they can fully be living in a different time period gone by making what they say and do unreasonable and confusing. Rolling 1d10 for action points? Let's see if I were a ruler in Japan and my enemy just used 8 action points to amass an army outside my castle's walls...I guess it doesn't make much sense that I'd only use 1 or 2 action points to slowly start bringing in reinforcements! Never the less this is the logic this game generates. FUCK!

So there my friends. Tenjo as Alzheimer's Disease. Do yourself a favor...get rid of all you aluminum frying pans to help avoid Alzheimer's and never....never sit down to a game a Tenjo, unless you really are that much of a sadist.

To cast or not to cast...is it nobler to blog into the depths of the unread internet?

2007-02-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

So really it should come as no surprise after reading my last post that the idea of doing a Podcast was weighing heavily on me. Should I? Shouldn't I? I embraced the idea for a bit and decided to at least do some brainstorming and here's what I came up with.

If I were to podcast it would be an offshoot of this blog. So name is easy "The Dice Hate Me". Enough said and step one very easily taken care of.

If I were to podcast I wouldn't want it to be another one of those where it's just this one guy you listen to for an hour or more who drones on and on about this or that. I also didn't want to recreate Luke's awesome "Happy Happy Board Game Love-In" podcast. So I could do one of those where you got multiple people on the show. The first thought was Skype. That'd be the easiest as I'm lazy and don't really want to hang out with my friends unless we are gaming and chances are good if I went to my friends house to or vice versa to create a segment for the podcast we'd end up gaming and scrape the damn podcast...so that'd be doomed to failure. Next thought was once I figured out what I wanted my segments to be I could assign them to a few friends...each friend records their segment and sends it to me and I can sort of be the anchor man as it were and put these segments together to form one podcast. Yeah that would be how I'd do it...

...If I were to podcast I'd want enjoyable and innovative segments. I also didn't want a very patterned podcast. Some casts I've listened to have the exact same segments each show and are laid out in the exact same order. I was planning for a 1 hour show and each show would have a different lineup of the segments I was planning on. So now comes the task...WHAT would those segments be? So I started giving brain cells over to that. I came up with I thought was a nice range of segments, both humorous ones that would allow my personality to flow through and more focused real gaming segments. Here's what I came up with, steal as you feel:

•Reviews
Meh seemed like an evil necessity. Not that I minded I think me and some of my friends could have done this one nicely and made interesting reviews.

•Games you don't know
An attempt to expose some of the lesser known or older titles are get overlooked but are still great games.

•Print & Play
I believe in this form of game publishing and have printed out, laminated and played several games that I thought were decent enough for me to spend my time on.

•Why you shouldn't be listening to this
A short segment where I would highlight (kinda like I did with HHBGLI last post) a podcast about gaming that I feel is MORE worthy to be listened to than the one the listener is currently listening to. :)

•Games as debilitating and possibly lethal disease
Paying homage to Luke and his HHBGLI this segment would be a hybrid of his "Slag of the Week" and his "Board Games As Movie Stars". I'd take a game I really don't like and compare it to a debilitating and possibly lethal disease. (See this is one of the FUNNY segments people.)

•Who would win in a fight (Ameritrash Vs. Eurosnoot)
Pair 'em up, lace the gloves on 'em and let 'em beat the loving shit out of each other and see which game stands at the end of the contest. This would be a humorous take on comparing these styles of games. Of course NO consideration would be given to balancing the two games...in the end one of the games would have to have throughly trounced the other...and next time maybe it's teammate would be able to avenge it! Silly I know.

•Important rules that we missed
Seems like there's always some games that you miss a rule...truth is I've played games many times by said missed or wrong rule. This would be a short segment talking about the game, the rule missed, and the repercussions of that rule having been missed and how the game is playing now that we know the rule.

•Man on the street
Here is a segment idea I've actually given to podcasters and no one uses so FUCK THEM I would certainly do it on my cast. I'd generate a list of upcoming MotS topics. Listeners could e-mail me with their thoughts on one of the upcoming topics. If I liked it we'd talk and record them...Skype or whatever but it would literally be putting the LISTENERS on my show and not just me mentioning their name.

•Examining a Franchinse
The world of designer board games has changed over the last 4 or 5 years. No more does a designer put out a game then start working on a totally new game. Nope, now you play a game and instantly start thinking about....the expansions that are going to come for this game...or the offshoot games. This segment would look at an entire line of games that are all from the same core and cull out the useless from the prime.

•Bits & Pieces
My adult natured segment...Bits & Pieces would be for the guys. What games can you play with your significant other, let her win and how to get a pieces of ass out of doing just that! :)

I had my Segments, my title and my plan for implementation. I thought I was ready but one important factor was still missing. WILL. Just like with this Blog I realized that I probably wouldn't be dedicated to it and wouldn't get casts out in any kind of timely manner. In addition creating a podcast is significantly more work than blogging. So fuck that! After all that mental work I decided to scrap the who damned idea of doing a stupid podcast.

Still some of those segments were good ideas.

Now the thought is to incorporate them here into TDHM. As I feel like doing something inane that no one will ever bother to read anyway well now I've got some ideas...I can pick one of those topics and blog it here for all you no one's to read!

If perchance someone is stopping by on some rare occasion to see if I've added anything maybe you'll start seeing some of these.

Maybe.

Until next time...
THoiA

Maybe some hamsters shouldn't be so furious...but if they weren't would we love them as much as we do?

2007-01-10T09:56:00.000-08:00

This is just a short post people to plug something I've found and enjoy greatly. The Happy Happy Board Game Love In podcast. Hosted by Luke Morris aka Hamster Of Fury on BGG. He's got a fresh smarmy take on podcasting.

As with a blog I've often thought of doing a podcast myself but like a blog I know I'd ignore it too much not have a following listening to my podcast just like I don't have a following reading my blog. Of course the fact that I don't advertise my blog or even tell anyone about it. . .well that might have something to do with it. Mind you I do still consider making a board gaming podcast because WTF I can do with it what I do with this blog and just make a new one whenever I fucking feel like it...be it weeks or a month apart.

But I digress....

Luke has churned out 5 podcasts so far so there's a little bit of catching up for you guys. His podcast is low budget as a good B-Podcast sould be. Check it out at:

http://happyhappyboardgames.blogspot.com/

THoiA

I'm not a league, I'm jus zis guy, ya know?

2007-01-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

The "Mad" Gamer aka Steve Weeks and his game group now goes by the ominous title of The League of Untouchable American Gamers. Reviews have been posted (and removed) from the BGG database and I disagree with this action. While I don't always (actualy rarely) agree with Steve's opinion on the game I do applaud his attempt to write creative and thought provoking reviews.

One of Steve's main claims of fame is that he never accepts free games to review and all games are purchased by the league and proof is on file and able to viewed by those interested through Bubbles McFadden the leagues honored treasurer.

I understand where Steve's coming from but I feel he went about things wrong. I fully agree that BGG tends to be a bit uppity and slam games for the wrong reasons and certainly exhaults games for even more wrong reasons. Still his approach was negative review after negative review after negative review....his reviews are pretty harsh I might add so it's no wonder he's made some enemies there. So what. He has recently posted a positive review (for Wyatt Earp which I hate...it's JUST Rummy people!) but there should have been more of an ebb and flow of positive/negative reviews.

So in my own little response I intend to begin writing my own meger reviews here for the troves of no one's who frequent my blog and read my drivel. Expect brutal honesty on all game aspects and both in favor of and against games. These will be slow coming...as do all my posts here but they will start to rear their ugly heads and will have the word •REVIEW• in the postings title.

So thanks Steve for the inspiration.
THoiA

02-27-2007 •UPDATE•
Alright well his original attempt at bringing a bit of humor and truthfully a different take on most games to the snobbish world of designer board games has waned. Seems he has overly embraced his own image and become the thing with which he hates...granted he's on the other side of the fence but still he's not being very fair. Steve has created his Podcast for his little "league" and it sucks. Granted he's got podcasting "skills" and uses nice equipment to create his casts but the content is what's important here and we are being fed the same form of rhetoric that Steve railed against and indeed still rails against only he's using the opposite side of the argument. He's pompous and arrogant on his casts his opinions are not being delivered in a precise and formulated format like they were in his reviews. Sure the humor is still there but now it's humor just for humor whereas before you actually got humor and a good review.

Turn hard earned cash into pieces of cardboard, wood and plastic. . .

2006-12-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

A few of the things that my currency has rencently turned into:

I haven't done a what I've bought in a long time so here ya go...like anyone really cares!

Hex Hex Next-Great game, adds in or stands alone but for me it just adds in. Great new cards

Ticket to Ride Marklin-Move those passengers along.

Ticket to Ride 1910 Expansion-BIG cards for the USA map with new destinations.

Puerto Rico-Finally got a copy of my favorite euro game.

Settlers of Catan-Picked up this classic too.

Settlers of Catan Event Cards-I'm gonna use them as event cards but also gonna keep rolling the die...cause it's suppose to be that way! Should shake things up quite a bit.

Iliad-Neat little card game with lots of nuances.

Aton-2 Player, very nice looks to be a lot to this game too.

Catagena-Get your pirates outta prison first...then SCREW everyone else!

Mission Red Planet-Ahhhh another Bruno game. I love it.

Nexus Ops-Bugs...war...alrighty.

Vegas Showdown-This game gets better with ever play. EXCELLENT!

Oasis-Love the card mechanic, very unique, fun game!

Carcassonne The City-A Carc. Variant and the wall look like they might be fun.

Metro-Not really crazy about this game but it was cheap.

Memoir '44 Pacific Theater-Another Mem. expansion, this one is superb, almost as good as the Eastern Front. Cant' wait for the carry case and expansion with it.

Aquarius-Crazy short game by Looney Labs, makers of Fluxx and Chrononauts.

Junta-Politics, Bribes, Backstabbing and Assassins...do we need anything else?

Relationship Tightrope-Good game, lame theme.

Rocketville-Not as bad as the gaming eliteiest at BGG say it is. Light and fun.

Grand Tribunal-Not played yet but interesting.

Recess-Same as above with a cute theming.

Succession: Intrigue in the Royal Court-Back stabbing galore.

Battleground: Fantasy Warfare-Card based mini fantasy war gaming. Neat.

Lifeboats-Pretty disappointing actually, way too long.

Return of the Heros-Dungeon crawl type of game.

Under the Shadow of the Dragon-Expansion for above.

Barbarossa-Almost exactly like cluzzle but came years ago. Hmmmmm.

Catan the Card game-Looks really neat actually.

Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers-War game based on the book.

Nero-We'll have to see if it's as bad as the BGGer's say it is. I doubt it.

Some of my recent learnings include:

Die Macher-Finally played this amazing game. WOW

War on Terror-This IS fun.

Mykerinos-A friend calls this Louis Light (as in Louis XIV) but I don't really agree. Very different game with one similar mechanic.

Cluzzle-EXCELLENT party game. LOVE it.

Seismic-Alright tile laying game. Could have been better kind of boring looking green tiles with no texturing at all.

Assault on Stalingrad-Very fun little deathmatch mini's game. Kill, pick up power ups, die & drop a stim pack, respawn. Fun fun fun.

I Just Want To Pillage, Rape and Plunder. . .Is That Too Much To Ask?

2006-11-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

Funny thing about humans…we tend to forget the atrocities that happen in life. The longer the time span the more flippant we are about it too. Certainly in our time certain events still ring true with a vibe of revulsion such as the holocaust, Ted Bundy and those sorts of things. However as time has separated us we tend to look back on a guy like Jack the Ripper and it’s not so much revulsion of his acts like it was back then but more curiosity. Going back further to the “Golden Age of Piracy” around the 1600’s and now we are idolizing these villains. We now dress our children up as them and see them as heros whereas the fearless armed forces who were out on the high seas trying to bring these criminals to justice are portrayed as the “bad guys.” How wrong is that?

Truth is I don’t care how wrong it is, I’m on board with it! I too like so many others, like pirates. So why then can’t I get a decent pirate game!?!?!? The right combination of a game that is not overly light yet not drowning in rules and fiddly mechanics. Quality components that look and feel piratey and actions that do the same. This elusive game has been haunting my desires for quite some time now…but no game company out there seems to want to bring this to me. WHY!?

In my opinion the one game that comes the closest to fulfilling this is Pirate’s Cove by Days of Wonder. I get that piratey feel I want and it’s a fun game. Clocks in at just over an hour and is easy to teach to anyone, gamer or not! As with any DoW product it looks amazing and the game play is quick and fun. Still doesn’t clock in as being a deep enough game to fit my ever empty list of “Good Pirates Games.”

Plunder (by a company called Laughing Pan Productions) is an option but here’s a game that could use a really good re-tooling. It’s just clunky enough in game play to make it not so much fun as irritating. Then comes the components. OK Great idea to have the box the same of a little treasure chest, but I can’t help wondering….if they hadn’t paid extra for that in the manufacturing process could they have then been able to afford a larger “Regular” shaped box and a mounted board? Hmmmmmm.

Swords & Skulls. Avalon Hill has a tendency to good games. Then they have a tendency to do bad games. This one isn’t so much bad as it is just dull. Great looking game but we expect no less from AH right, so no brownie points there. Theme is worked in alright and you can go “Garrrrrr, I think I’ll be moving my pawn further on down the track.” So see, neat idea but the track system kind of dumbs down the game….something that seems more common with AH games now that Wizards of the Coast bought them. (althought apparently recently dumped them again! Go figure you buy a franchise, change the style of the games it makes and it’s fan base disappears on you…fucking idiots!)

Front Porch Classics created what has to be the coolest looking pirate game ever in Dread Pirate. WOW if you get the expensive $80 version you get this awesome wooden chest, a cloth map, great pewter paws, super cool wooden dice that are aged, real heavy pieces of eight for money and well done cards too. WHEW! What did they leave out? Easy….a game. This game SUCKS! Roll dice move, roll dice whoever is higher won the fight, roll dice move….FUCK that’s not a game that’s stupidity. The components give a pirate feel but if they’d been shaped like puppy dogs and instead of attacks the towns were kids at a park it could be about getting more “pats on the head” then your opponents.

7^th Seas is based on the Role Play Game by the same name and produced by Alderac Entertainment Group. Alright here we go. This is a pretty good pirate game. Cards are beautiful, theme fits so perfectly, game play is in depth but hell it’s a CCG so you know it’s not overly so. The problem is…well first it failed and is now out of print. (Go to eBay and buy someone’s entire lot of 800+ card for like $12.00…they spend $300 on it but fuck them.) Next problem is simply…it’s a CCG. It does have some neat little mechanics of it’s own but over all it plays just like all the other CCG’s and I’ve seen matches go for longer than an hour and a half which is entirely too long for a CCG. Very close but still strikes out in the long term playability factor.

Pirates of the Spanish Main ( and all the various expansions) by Wizkids is pretty cool. Neat looking little boats that when not being used to play this game can be used in a ton of other games as ships. Game plays is fair but being as they really wanted to target a younger audience there’s just not enough there to want to play this time and time again. A collectible game that has released 5 or 6 expansions so far, so the $40 I spent on boats on the initial run AND the first expansion is wasted as all the new boats kick mine’s ass…just like Magic you gotta keep investing if you want to play, which is bull

Loot by Gamewright. Oh come on, did I really bring this one up? Five bucks at your local Wal-Mart in a tuck box ($10 at online distributors if you want a nice fancy lidded box.) Another game designed by Reiner Knizia and it’s another game where you do simple math all game long and any theme could pasted onto this game. SIGH….no thanks.

Skallywags is a cute game by Bent Castle Workshop where you “build” a crew by giving them a Head/Body/Feet using different cards so you can come up with different combinations. Fundementally a matching game because you want to get similar part “types” together to get the best guys/gals for your crew. Cartoony artwork takes away from the serious aspect and overall pirate feel but it still great looking (probably the best part of the game) and fun. Little replay value here and overall not much fun, also seems like this game should be over in 30 minutes but it’s well over an hour ever damned time.

Mutiny! Currently being published by Fantasy Flight Games as part of their ever affordable “Silver Line Series” so the MSRP is only $20. Basically this is a bidding game (and I love bidding mechanics) where you fight over who gets to take the actions of five different tiles and earn these little swords. Neat game but very much non-pirate feeling. Still it’s cheap you should probably own it.

Broadsides & Boarding Parties by Milton Bradley as part of their old Game Master series is one As it is out of print and can go for $80+ on eBay and doesn’t get good reviews from gamers I tend to think this is one of those situations of people reliving their childhood. I've read the rule book and it's a very simple move and fight game. Granted the pieces look amazing a board with two giant ships manned by deckhands everywhere. Cool as crap looking but game play? Doesn't seem to be there from reading the rules and I don't feel like spending the time to actually sit through a game of it just to find out what I already know.

Cartagena is a cute little strategy game. Really it's a race game...see the story is you are all pirates imprisoned in the vile fortress Cartagena. To win you have to get all your pirates to the escape boat at the end of the tunnel. Now you do this by playing cards that take you to different ares of the tunnel like the pistol, the keys, the sword....wait a second, if I can arm my pirates with pistols, and swords and give them keys to the damned prison...why aren't we going out the front door? Bah, tis a fun little game really is, but piratey? Well the theme is just barely tacked on and not very accurate. NEXT!

Speaking of racing pirates...now let's talk about Lifeboats the game that has been released in the Americas by Z-Man Games. In this one the ship has sunk and all the pirates are scrambling to survive by getting in and out of the rickety lifeboats that are headed towards the island. Because this one is played through a series of back stabbing votes to move the ships, spring leaks in the ships and throw someone overboard it's very cut throat and well....back stabby. Granted these are all fine pirate qualities and it allows for a lot of piratey table talk to be spouted in terrible pirate accents but still the game is not what you are looking for when you are looking to be a pirate.

Pieces of Eight a new game on the streets by Atlas Games. The whole game is this bunch of coins you hold in the palm of your hand and each is a character and you can only use the front and back on and it’s dumb. The idea is neat, to be a game you can easily carry in your pocket and play anywhere but the game play is not fun and very unpirate feeling. Plus it’s collectible so expect to shell out bucks to keep up with all the cool new coins that come out. Shit I hate that.

Alright now on to a game that originally was not a pirate theme at all. Armada 3 and yes in 1 & 2 the theme was just nations trading goods and with 3 it's PIRATES! I will say this for the game. The ability to attack, steal goods and yes even hijack the ships of other players does indeed make this game rich in pirateness from that point...it's still at it's core a resource management game and you can feel the "nations" theme under it all. A good try by EuroGames and a fair game, but nothing of greatness here.

Blackbeard. Back in the hay day of gaming when Avalon Hill ruled the world with their epic war games, they produced Blackbeard, the grand daddy of all pirate games! This game has EVERYTHING that could possibly be thought of as piratey. Given that it’s an old AH game the quality is nowhere near what we are use to these days but for the game who with an imagination you can still get into it. The problem is you are looking at 3 hours to play the game IF everyone involved knows and understands all the rules…longer if not. The good news is GMT Games is looking at republishing this game called “Blackbeard: The Golden Age of Piracy” with 1. much nicer components to give us a lovely pirate look/feel and revised rules to cut down on all that fiddly AH nonsense they use to love working into their games. So there is hope here…my copy is on pre-order already.

Speaking of GMT and the hopes of a good pirate game another in the pre-staging process (but closer to completion then Blackbeard) is Winds of Plunder. I do also have this one pre-ordered and having read a ton of material online about it think this might be my “Good Pirate Game” that I’ve searched high and low for. Very nice looking game, mechanics are simple but the choices are many, actions seem to all be very pirate like and reviews so far have all been stunning. So here’s me holding my breath….maybe Winds of Plunder will fill that much needed pirate gap in my game collection.

There are still a few games on the horizon that I've not had the chance to play and wonder if I ever will. The Pirate theme is and has been quite a popular theme (even more so since Disney's little Depp film) and so the abundance is there. Some of the games that interest me that I'd like to give a shot at are; Buccaneer, Caribbean, Age of Piracy, Meuterer, Corsairs and Rum & Pirates (pretty sure this one is not going to fill the niche either but still might be a fun game.)

…oh there’s other pirate games out there but none of them that excel at juicing me up like a real pirate game should. I mean it's been several hundreds of years since there murdering, raping bastards would skin people and hang them to die in the sun on the mast of ship...shouldn't I be able to feel like one of them by now?!?

THoiA

It's a sickness I know it is. . .

2006-07-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

My recent acquisitions:
Bolide-racing without dice

Dynasties-2 player fuedal Japan

Hive-Creepy crawly bug fun

Mag*Blast-Space ship blowing up in the TI3 world

Fjords-Two player tile layer

Dread Pirate-Crappy assed game with the best components EVER

Girl Genius-Very cleaver little card turning game sounds weird but is fun

Saboture-Dwarves in mines digging for gold...with a traitor

Miskatonic Madness-Cthulhu game, free print and play, neat 'o

My recent learnings (IE Played but don't own):
Space Hulk-Basically Aliens

Hansa-Boats, markets, goods, fun!

Tenjo-6 hours of my life are gone due to this game

Diamant-Fantastic, quick, light.

Ticket to Ride Marklin-I love me some TTR

Princes of the Renaissance-Martin Wallace greatness, bidding, war, what else is there?

The Fallacy of Optimism

2006-07-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

It’s true that despite good intentions a persons inner self will eventually come through. I knew from the get go that I didn’t need to have a blog all my own. I knew I’d never have enough content to actually have something worth reading by anyone else. Still I had this fleeting hope that just by having created the blog I’d be motivated enough to write more. BULLSHIT! I knew it was bullshit from the first moment that little optimistic bastard inside me was telling it to me. Fuck him!

It’s not that I’ve been short of ideas, hell no. I’ve had plenty of ideas for topics…I even started a couple (actually this post right here is the 2^nd time I’ve written this one, only I’m hoping to actually finish it this time) but for whatever reason they’ve never made it to the publish button.

I was going to write a bit about some particular games I’ve been playing lately….just sort of dedicate an entry to a single game. That didn’t happen. I was going to go ranting off again on the state of gaming and gamers with their silly idiosyncrasies that can be found virtually nowhere but the world of gaming. One of those got started but never completed and I’m pretty darn sure I didn’t even save the damned thing.

Good ole procrastination coupled with little time creates a real recipe for disaster when it comes to blogging. The only thing I think I’ve got going for this blog is that I think I’m a relatively creative guy. Still if the creative juices don’t ever get tapped…well you dear reader will never know of these things.

I’m not really concerned about the state TDHM as I’ve said before this is an exercise for me myself to purge some of the demons of writing within me. If anyone accidentally stumbles upon this page of the internet then may God have mercy upon them and allow them to find their way to BACK button or the Google search box or any other browser device that will get them the hell off this blog. Maybe I should rename it to “The Blog That Will Eat Your Soul.”

But if you are of the persistent bunch who feels perseverance is something of a virtue and you decide that you will continue to drop back by here from time to time then let me be the first to pat you on the back. I don’t know why you are doing it but because you might be out there I’ll try and get a few more things written. Not that I owe it to anyone but myself mind you…but that damned little optimist…not matter how many times I squash the little fucker down he stands back up and says “Come on man, we can put something up…”

THoiA

It's never enough. . .

2006-05-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

My recent acquisitions:

Deflexion - An abstract game...with lasers! So how's that not a good thing?

World of Warcraft the Boardgame - HUGE game, tons of minis pretty fun, about 3 hours I think once everyone knows the game.

Oltre Mare (Merchants of Venice) - Haven't played or read rules to this yet

Way Out West - Rules make this look great, we'll see soon enough.

Durch die Wuste - German version of Through the Desert...mmmmm pretty pastel camels.

Ice Frenzie the Hockey Card Game - Kinda sucks but it's HOCKEY!

Cape Horn - Racing around the southern tip of S. America, very cool little game, high screw with others factor

Babylon 5 Component Game Syste - they call it a CGS...cleaver huh? Chances are good this will never get played, a huge rule book for this being the core system, don't know if it's gonna happen or not.

Stratomatic Hockey - 2000-2001 team stat cards. Looks neat again probably won't get played. The rules are very in depth however.

Family Business - Mayfairs low budget re-release of this mobster card game. 10 bucks just about anywhere.

Dying Lights - 220 cards crammed into a tiny little box with a rulebook, beautiful art and space combat to boot.

Chalk Talk Action Hockey Trivia Game - with a title like that you get the idea.

What's the Score - Stand alone game/addition to above title funny the cards in this are higher quality than the ones in above title.

Just Add Ice - Hockey card game, simple mechanics might be fun for a little bit, probably won't hold attention more than a hand or two.

Speed Circuit - AH classic game of formula 1 racing. Woo Hoo. Excellent rule set, dice play a significantly smaller role than in Formula' De.

Win Place & Show - AH game from same era as Speed Circuit but is horse racing, won in lot with above title.

My recent learnings (IE Played but don't own):

Carcassonne The Castle - I love Carc. games.

Hey! That's My Fish - Techinically geared for kids, but a great game.

Elasund the First City of Catan - Great fun, lots of player interaction (read screwing over).

Twixt - Old 3M classic bookshelf game, very fun abstract game. Highly suggested as it's easy to get.

Talisman - WOW Superb game, there's a reason this is a classic.

Revolution the Dutch Revolt - Pretty in depth but a bit dull to me.

Runebound - Neat dungeon crawl without the dungeon, by Martin Walace. Lots of expansions, beautiful game.

When Morons Collide

2006-05-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

Gaming is about a lot of things. It's about social interaction with people. It's about stimulating brain exercises that allow you to win the games. It's about chips, soda, beer whatever you eat/drink when you game. It's about showing off the neat new game you got with all it's pretty pieces. It's about learning new mechanics and trying to figure out how those people you play all these games with are going to react to these particular mechanics.

Then there's a handful of things gaming is not about. The two biggies in my book are religion and politics. In my experiences these topics are just too hot buttoned to be discussed in this arena where we all have gathered to let go the stresses of the day. So at my club it's a hard, fast rule...no discussion on these topics unless it's directly game related, which means you have to be playing a political or religious themed game (Twilight Struggle or Mesopotamia that sort of thing.)

Well maybe it's a rule that doesn't get mentioned enough because it just so happens that a couple guys in the group started into it a few weeks back. SIGH. I'm only glad I was busy playing a game...because that's what I was there for...playing games...and so I was playing a game and having a good time. These two decided that game night might be better suited for standing around and discussing politics on which it was obvious neither would ever see the others point of view.

So their conversation starts to get warm and the volume goes up. Then it starts to get very heated up and names get tossed around. It kept going with them continuing to disagree with each other until one finally had enough and stormed out...leaving behind the only game he owns a fairly new copy of Hammer of the Scots...and dammit I was nice enough to make sure he got it back the next day but that's another story. The real issue here isn't even that they got mad and one left...it's the negative mood the entire place was put into because of these two morons who were stupid enough to start the conversation took it to a infantile level and let it linger. Now they were screwing with my gaming experience and sweet Nelly that pisses me off.

My big question is why. Didn't we all (see above) show up this blessed eve for a friendly night of competitive gaming? Why would you even start the conversation and when it begins to spiral downward why wouldn't one of you just make a statement like "Look we aren't going to agree here so let's just stop here and play a game." No it had to continue to the point of breaking and it really left everyone around in a weird mood so it had an effect on everyone not just these two.

It's just sad, I mean we have great conversations, some times, and a lot of time we don't agree on things but when you bring politics and religion into the equation "not agreeing" tends to escalate into severe arguing. People hold these issue too close to their hearts for them to be able to be discussed lightly, so dammit if you've got that on your mind and you're about to game with me, shut the fuck up cause I don't wanna hear the drivel you have to say. Chances are real good we won't agree on it anyway.

The Addiction Grows must...have more...games....

2006-04-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

My recent acquisitions:

Combat Soldiers in the Battle of the Bulge - Lost Battalion Game - Card driven WWII game for 2 to 6 players.

Battlegroup - Lost Battalion Game - Card driven NAVAL WWII game for 2 player.

Sergeants! on the Eastern Front - Lost Battalion Game - Introductory light war game for 2 players.

Sergeants! Expansion - Lost Battalion Game - More chits and rules for Sergents.

Dungeoneer; Vault of the Fiends - Atlas Games - Dungeon crawl where players are both hero and Dungeon dude 2 to 4 players.

Let's Kill - Atlas Games - Everyone's a serial killer, 2 to 6 players.

Ice Frenzy - Anderson Family Games - All the action of a real hockey game, says the publisher, 2 players.

Lightning: Midway - Decision Games - Card drive WWII plane game about...well battle of Midway, 2 player.

Target Arnham, Across 6 Bridges - Multi Man Publishing - 2 player light introductory war game...it's free for $5.00 shipping fee.

My recent learnings (IE Played but don't own):

Circus Imperium - Chariot game, race, fight, kill, destroy, win.

Power Grid - Power cities by connecting them to your plants.

Hellrail 3rd Perdition - Tain the souls to hell.

Twilight Struggle - Cold war game...2 players.

Girl Genuis - James Ernest's card flip-floping game.

Bohnanza - Bean farming at it's best.

Of Bricks, Mortar and Rays of F'ing Light

2006-04-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

***DISCLAIMER START***
If you are going to read the things I post here you are going to need to learn to read past the smarminess and sarcasm. When you do I think you'll find that there might be a small nugget or two of useful information tucked in there...or maybe I just sharted, not sure. At any rate my true feelings on this subject can be understood and felt underneath the flaming arrows I'm about to throw. That being said let's get on with it.
***DISCLAIMER END***

Gaming is a fickle hobby and gamers are bunch of jerks with fickle attitudes who speak in an endless string of contradictions. I know I'm a contradictory throwing jerk who loves playing games and if you're a gamer reading this chances are you are thinking "But that's not all gamers, I'm not one of them." To which I say..."yes you are, now shaddap!"

How many times have I seen the post somewhere about "Oh woe is me, my local gaming store where I play and meet new gamers is closing"? I see it a good bit, more than is comfortable for me someone who see this as a loss to his hobby. ***Does a quick search for the poster's name on the forum*** Ahhhh here it is the post where that SAME person said "Hey look at this huge $631 order I just put in with some online distributor, man I can't wait to drag these games into my local store and play them."

Hmmmmmmmm and you were saying gamers are not contradictory.

So we've got this situation that has arisen that pits two opponents against each other. The Brick and Mortar stores (We'll call them BM's from here on out) and the online retailers who's sites are made up of Rays of F'ing Light (you got it we'll, call them ROFL's). But THoiA, what ever can I do to help out all those poor little children living in tree house tribes in Indonesia? Well I don't know about them but I can tell you what I see is going on between the BM's and the ROFL's.

THE FACTS:
ROFL's offer HUGE discounts.
BM's usually offer play space.
ROFL's throw in free shipping at price break points.
BM's give you that "touch-n-feel" experience.
ROFL's you can place an order while in your underwear.
BM's you can order in your underwear as well and usually not be thrown out.

That's really the big points now isn't it? How much money am I spending and a place to play/meet gamers. So where to start? Well let's rewind a bit. Game stores...ahhh yes it's a nice world with stores that sell games, everyone's happy. Internet come along and low and behold ROFL's appear and what do you know due to low overhead they are offering discounts! Now the BM owners are freaking out...calm down fella. Did VCR's put movie theaters out of business as they screamed would happen? Did Amazon squash retail bookstores? Did online prescription buying put Eckerd’s out of business...well maybe that's not the best example (see most Eckerd Drug stores have been bought out.) The answer to my question there are all YES. YES they did shut down some of those businesses...the one's owned buy people who refused to change their business model. You can not open a business today and expect it to be run exactly as it is being run 3 decades down the road. If that were true we'd be buying our euro games from the Sears & Roebuck Catalogues we get in the mail.

Take heart, there is certainly room in this world for both BM's and ROFL's but there will probably be some casualties taken here and there. So *sound of sucking wind* BM's are going to have to make adjustments if they intend on being here for the long haul. Can they afford to give their customers 35% to 40% discounts off of MSRP prices? Hell no, they've got way too much overhead to do something like that.

So where can they wiggle in and make some money? Well first of all they throw me "Joe Shopper" a fricking bone already. Do you know how insulting it is to me to walk in a store and see a game that I know has a MSRP of $49.99 and see a price tag on it of $49.99. Read my lips BM owners...NO ONE pays full MSRP these days. I just checked the price of a popular Day of Wonder title who's MSRP is $49.95...one ROFL has it for $31.45...that's $18.50 in savings. If I know I'm going to order enough games to get free shipping why would I throw away that extra $18.50? This is what I'm talking about. How about if the BM offered me 15% to 20% off of MSRP? Well now they sell said game for only $39.96, compare that to the ROFL's cost of $31.45 and guess what? I'm going to buy from the BM simply because as a greedy American I've got that "instant satisfaction" thing in me and it's worth it to me to pay a FEW dollars more to have my game RIGHT NOW!

The next thing I see that BM's can do is diversify their stock. It's time to stop be a pretentious "gamer than thou" store who stocks only obscure titles that no one not registered on BGG has any idea even exists. That's right I'm talking about being a "sell out"! The common thread with all the popular sell outs is that they now make (or have made and are living off of) an obscene amount of money (Metallica springs to mind.) Cha-Ching. The point is BM's need to carry items that are going to sell. Is it some variant of a classic (read boring like; Stratego, Risk, etc.) that now has a LotR or Star Wars theme on it...pick up a couple copies. Chances are good some 40 something aunt will wander in sometime and know nothing of gaming except her little nephew just loves Frodo and she'll buy it. Boom sale. Let's face it, the slew of games like these keep coming out right? Well that's because people keep selling them. If they didn't sell you wouldn't see new ones hit the shelves.

Next, go collectible. I personally hate collectible games and feel they are the bane of western society but they sell like a $2.00 whore outside the dock where US Navy vessel port for shore leave in Indonesia (see they working hard to feed those children, we don't need to worry about them anymore, now we can all breath easier and buy another game.) D&D Minis, Axis & Allies Minis, Heroclix, obviously MtG and other established games can be picked up and then host a weekly DRAFT tournament. Not just an open tourney, no no, do a draft! That way the players who want to play in said sanctioned (and yes do the paper work to make it sanctioned so they can be "ranked") tourney will be forced to BUY product from you. Wow clever.

Another though on collectible games is to offer large quantity discounts. If someone is interested in buy an entire retail display of boosters don't make them pay full MSRP for each pack. Obviously again the BM's can't sell for the ridiculous prices they can find on eBay but making some sort of effort to lower the cost makes a huge impact to the end buyer. They feel special!

My last thought is something I've seen in some smaller game stores here and there but nowhere near enough of it. Sell used games. Give someone about 30% of what a game is worth in trade dollars in your store, then sell the game for about 65% of what the game is worth to others. Of the 2 stores I've seen doing this both said it's very successful. Can't get gamers to come up off of their games? Well then go consignment. Same thing as above but now let the person owning the game name his price....you get a say 25% of the sale. This could be a bit more risky though as if you are buying the games outright you don't have to buy the games that you are currently selling new copies of.

I've got other ideas for the BM's as well but they start getting more difficult to manage and possibly just hair brained ideas that won't work so I'll stop there.

What can ROFL's do? Well not really a damn thing. They get the business already and even if the above steps are taken they will STILL get plenty of business. You are not going to make all the ROFL's go out of business, it's just not going to happen. The BM's just need to make sure they stay not only afloat but are profitable. If the BM's treat their customers with respect and are little more kind to their wallets they will generate die hard fans of their stores who will always buy from them first.

Now the next time you see that "going out of business" sign in your local BM's window don't cry about it on the forums. Just think back to that big assed box UPS sent you last week and think to yourself "It's all my fault, I should probably go kill myself." and you are most likely right.

THoiA

An attempt to perpetuate the ever growing nothingness that is the internet.

2006-04-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

Bloggety-blog blog! Everybody and their little sister has a blog these days. Hell every bodies little sister’s hamster has a blog too. So why on God’s big beautiful green earth would I bother with creating…yet another blog?

Because I’m a dork. That’s right folks you heard it here first, straight from the dorks own mouth…or fingers as I type…whatever, the point is I know it already and don’t need a endless strew of comments telling me this.

At first I wasn’t going to create a blog. I really did want to write some gaming related articles and what-not but I know I won’t be posting to this thing even as frequently as every week which doesn’t make for a good blog now does it? (Then again maybe the act of creating and owning a blog will spur my imagination to come up with even more boring mundane shit to write about and it will be updated frequently.) My original idea was to guest blog on someone else’s back once a month or so but after reading through many gameblogs I couldn’t find the blog home that felt right for me. My reasons are stupid I know but they are the reasons of a self proclaimed pessimistic dork. You know stuff like “Well he read a description of Beer Money and swore of the game.” “Well this guy’s a pretty prolific writer my stuff would get lost in the spew he drivels on about.” “I hate this person.” those kinds of things.

So here I sit keyboard at hand writing my…ugh I can’t believe I’m going to say it…blog.

Expect to the see this blog updated on a strict schedule of whenever the hell I feel like updating it and keep in mind I never miss my own deadlines. As such I would say that I’m open to the idea of guest bloggers riding on my back like it was my intention of doing but you’ll probably come up with some really stupid reason for not doing it. You know stuff like “Well he read a description of ASL and swore off the game.” “Well this guy’s not a very prolific writer my stuff would flood the spew he drivels on about right off his own blog.” “I hate this person.” However if you manage to make it past those hurdles e-mail me, we’ll have some coffee, we’ll talk.

THoiA

. . .The Dice Hate Me

Print 'N Play Games. - Half the fun is in the crafting of the game but now-a-days the games are pretty cool too!

Why I Like - Agricola Through the Seasons

Why I Like - Agricola X-Deck

Why I Like - Himalaya

Why I Like - Fire & Axe, A Viking's Saga

Been a long time

Why I like - TICKET TO RIDE

Why I like - YS

Why I Like - ACQUIRE

"Why I Like..." Reviews series

Where The HELL Have You Been THoiA?

Everyone Likes A Little Action

I Am a Theme Whore . . . Hey Buddy You Looking to Party?

Why Do I Gotta Be Mr. Pink?

A Little Rally for the Valley

The Value of a Box of Bits...Hey Look It's a Bandwagon, I Better Jump On!

Games That Make You Go FUCK! Part 2: "Six Stress Stimulators"

Board games? You've got to be kidding right? I mean haven't we all grown up by now? What's the deal here?

How the West was gamed. Analyzing the field of Western Themed games...I just wanted to use ANAL in the title of a post.

Like I've got the time/energy/motivation to write more?

Games That Make You Go FUCK! Part 1: "An Assemblage of Asinine"

HEIL ROOSEVELT!!! Combat Soldiers has you playing both sides of WWII ***A TDHM Review***

Don't just want to be Indiana Jones, BE Indiana Jones..but without all that excitement, action and screwing of hot blonde nazi chicks. *A TDHM REVIEW*

The box lies in the name of making another sale...no wait that's the marketing deparment.

Weird insertions and asshole designers.

The Game's the thing....I don't give a fuck what you want to label it as!

Games as debilitating and possibly lethal diseases

To cast or not to cast...is it nobler to blog into the depths of the unread internet?

Maybe some hamsters shouldn't be so furious...but if they weren't would we love them as much as we do?

I'm not a league, I'm jus zis guy, ya know?

Turn hard earned cash into pieces of cardboard, wood and plastic. . .

I Just Want To Pillage, Rape and Plunder. . .Is That Too Much To Ask?

It's a sickness I know it is. . .

The Fallacy of Optimism

It's never enough. . .

When Morons Collide

The Addiction Grows must...have more...games....

Of Bricks, Mortar and Rays of F'ing Light

An attempt to perpetuate the ever growing nothingness that is the internet.

HEIL ROOSEVELT!!! Combat Soldiers has you playing both sides of WWII A TDHM Review

Don't just want to be Indiana Jones, BE Indiana Jones..but without all that excitement, action and screwing of hot blonde nazi chicks. A TDHM REVIEW